Mall Ninja Bullshit Quiz Results

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Your Mall Ninja Bullshit is:

I am the Lieutenant of a 3 man Rapid Tactical Force Team, in one of the nation's largest indoor retail shopping centers. I am here to protect 13-year-old boys like yourself, so you don't get gang-raped behind the dumpster outside the mall arcade, on your way home to mommy after killing some bad guys at the u201cSilent Scopeu201d game. I don't think any of you are working as hard as I am to be prepared.

I am a Master of three martial arts including ninjitsu, which means I can wear the special boots to climb walls in case the escalator is broken. We have armored GMC Yukons and Suburbans for executive protection. We have several Hummers with MG mounts for our two HK21Es, and two VERY special armored vehicles for more serious work.

Some may laugh, some may cry, but don't cross me - you will surely die.

If guns cause crime then all of mine are defective.

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