Top 30 Antijokes

Welcome to the top 30 antijokes.

The Top 30 Antijokes List

These are the top 30 Antijokes for 2025.

1. When we were kids, we used to be afraid of the dark. But when we grew up, the electricity bill is what made us afraid of the light.
2. Why Shouldn't You Tell an Egg a Joke? Because it can't hear you.
3. Did You Hear About the Kidnapping at School? The kid eventually woke up. See also Schools.
4. Why Does a Fish Have Scales? Because they are born with them.
5. I was diagnosed with clinical depression the other day. Which made me sad.
6. Roses are dead. Violets are dead. I am a bad gardener.
7. How Do You Confuse an Idiot? With a difficult mental task.
8. Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.
9. What Do You Call a Fat Hobo? Whatever his name is.
10. What's the difference between bubble wrap and a carrot? No one eats carrots.
11. Did You Hear the One About the Cheese That Wrote Poetry? Neither did I.
12. Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.
13. Do you want to know my secret to sanity? Red wine.
14. I can still remember my Grandpa's last words before he kicked the bucket. He said, "Hey, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?"
15. What Do Monkeys Eat for Breakfast? Not cake.
16. How is a bar of soap the same as your dreams? They’re both amazing at slipping away.
17. Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar. One says, "I've lost my electron." The other says, "Are you positive?"
18. What Do You Call a Dog That Poops? A healthy dog.
19. What is Grey and Can't Fly? A parking lot.
20. Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.
21. What’s green, red, orange, purple, blue and yellow? Colors.
22. What did one Frenchman say to the other? I have no idea; I don't speak French.
23. If there are 3 apples, and Johnny takes away 3 of them, how many apples does Johnny have? None, because Johnny got hit by a train.
24. Why was six afraid of seven? It wasn't. Numbers are not capable of feeling fear.
25. What did the fried rice say to the shrimp? Nothing. Rice can’t talk.
26. How is a bar of soap the same as your dreams? They’re both amazing at slipping away.
27. Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.
28. What Do You Call a Fly with No Wings? Still a fly—the irony is unfortunate.
29. What Do You Call a Baby with a Tiger? Bad parenting.
30. What would Santa Claus be called if he had no hands? Probably still Santa Claus, however he doesn’t exist so it doesn’t really matter.

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