Top 100 Flat Earth Jokes
Welcome to the top 100 flat earth jokes.
The Top 100 Flat Earth Jokes List
These are the top 100 Flat Earth Jokes for 2024.
1. Just found out today my boyfriend is a flat Earther No wonder he never comes around2. Whats the differerence between a flat earther and a knife? A knife has a point
3. My friend was so convinced of flat earth, he said he was going to Antartica to find the edge. He came around eventually.
4. I want to become a flat earther. But I heard that there is a learning curve.
5. Why are there no highly credited esteemed flat-earthers? Because flattery will get you nowhere.
6. Why do flat-Earthers think the Earth is flat? Because if the Earth is round, their world would be pointless
7. Flat-earthers have heard their theory is spreading around the globe They don't believe it.
8. I used to be a Flat-Earther until I realized this The Earth can't be flat because my life keeps on going downhill.
9. What do flat-earthers call global warming? Toast
10. Why do flat earthers enjoy talking to flight instructors? they tell them 5G might make them sick.
11. My flat-earther friend was diagnosed by a psychologist He suffers from very sphere delusions.
12. A flat earther snuck into a physics seminar While the speaker was giving a speech on recent developments about gravity, the flat earther shouted, "Why do you even think that gravity is real?" The speaker dropped the mic.
13. When a flat-earther finds conclusive evidence against their beliefs... ...it’s important for them to know that it’s not the end of the world.
14. Flat earthers are very worried about the pandemic. They are afraid that social distancing measures may push people over the edge.
15. The main reason everybody hates flat Earthers ...is because they're so edgy.
16. What's a flat-earther's least favorite gun? A revolver.
17. What does a flat-earther do with a ball? He plays Frisbee!
18. Why do Flat-Earthers enjoy the quarantine? They finally get to flatten the curve.
19. No, flat-earthers are right. The earth is supposed to be flat. Until they burried your mom beneath it.
20. My flat-earther friend was diagnosed by a psychologist He suffers from very sphere delusions.
21. How many flat-earthers does it take to draw an arrow? None. They can't make a point.
22. A flat earther snuck into a physics seminar While the speaker was giving speech on recent development about gravity, flat earther shouted " Why do you even think that gravity is real? " Speaker dropped the mic.
23. What do you say when you meet a flat-earther? You're not from round here are ya?
24. we shouldn't bully flat Earthers or anti Vaxxers just because they have brain damage doesn't mean we get to make fun of them
25. When a flat-earther finds conclusive evidence against their beliefs... ...it’s important for them to know that it’s not the end of the world.
26. I debated a flat earther once he stormed off saying he'd walk to the edge of the earth to prove me wrong. He'll come around, eventually.
27. What is a flat earther's favorite clothing brand? Land's End
28. It’s surprising flat earthers are still using money. You’d think they’d have concern over it making the world go round.
29. What do you get when you combine a flat earther and their arrogance? Flatulence.
30. A friend once asked what I would do if my child turned out to be a flat-earther and I was dumbfounded Still amazed that there are dumb nuts out there who think the planet is round and shit.
31. I want to become a flat earther. But I heard that there is a learning curve.
32. The main reason everybody hates flat Earthers ...is because they're so edgy.
33. My friend gets really upset when I call him a flat-Earther He says the correct term is bulldozer operator.
34. How do you save a flat earther who's falling? You don't because gravity doesn't exist.
35. Flat-Earthers always change what they say about the Flat Earth for their convenience. Luckily there aren't any other groups that do that. Thank God.
36. Why did the flat-earther couple break up? They drove each other to the edge.
37. A flat earther as your Secret Santa A bunch of employees participate in the annual Secret Santa exchange. They all draw a name from the hat. They all say what they want as presents. A woman stands up and jokingly says "I want a bra for my big globes." A man in a serious manner replies "I’ll get you a boob job instead."
38. Why couldn't the flat-Earther fit his luggage in his car? No space.
39. Why is it impossible for a flat Earther calculate the volume of the Earth? Because there is always a rounding error.
40. It’s surprising flat earthers are still using money. You’d think they’d have concern over it making the world go round.
41. What’s another name for a flat-earther? A Globe-a-phobe.
42. The Only Thing Flat-Earthers Fear Is Sphere Itself. my only joke i've ever came up with and it flat-out sucks. no way around it.
43. Flat-Earthers always change what they say about the Flat Earth for their convenience. Luckily there aren't any other groups that do that. Thank God.
44. What do you get when you combine a flat earther and their arrogance? Flatulence.
45. I was arguing with a flat Earth believer We argued about how many members the flat Earth community had. He said "We have members all around the globe".
46. Why are there no highly credited esteemed flat-earthers? Because flattery will get you nowhere.
47. What does a flat-earther do with a ball? He plays Frisbee!
48. What do the square-root of 2 and flat-earthers have in common ? They're both completely irrational.
49. We staged an intervention with our flat-earther friend. He said he felt cornered.
50. I want to become a flat earther. But I heard that there is a learning curve.
51. An anti-vax mom and a flat-earther dad were having a friendly chat with their neighbor The neighbor says, "Well I have to go but send my best wishes to the kids. Tell them I hope they can shoot for the moon." The mom rather embarrassed says, "I'm sorry... In our family we don't allow shots at the moon."
52. A flat earther was asked to describe fear... They said there was nothing to fear but sphere itself.
53. I agree with Flat Earthers on every thing except that the Earth is Flat
54. Guys, I'm not saying that Flat Earthers, Anti-Vaxxers, and Creationists are unintelligent people but... there is a reason why shoes with Velcro straps come in adult size.
55. When a flat-earther finds conclusive evidence against their beliefs... ...it’s important for them to know that it’s not the end of the world.
56. If the earth really is flat Wouldn't cats have pushed everything off the edge by now?
57. I heard that the flat earthers are against covid restrictions. It apparently drives them over the edge
58. What do a kinky lawyer and a flat earther have in common? Pulling evidence out if their ass
59. Why couldn't the flat-Earther fit his luggage in his car? No space.
60. A flat earther dies and goes to heaven. At the gates of heaven, St. Peter says to them, "Before you enter the gates of heaven, you may ask god one question." The flat earther asks, "God, is the earth flat?" God responds, "The earth is 100% a globe." The flat earther exclaims, "Holy crap! This conspiracy runs deeper than I thought!"
61. What do you call someone who believes the Earth is flat? A non-globalist.
62. Riddle: A flat-earther and a round-earther enter a maze at the same time. They each have a compass, and both know that the exit is on the North end of the maze. Which one exits the maze first? The round-earther exits first, because the flat-earther died of measles while inside.
63. Did you hear about the Flat Earther who went skydiving? He landed on a plane.
64. Whats the differerence between a flat earther and a knife? A knife has a point
65. A Flat-Earther is lost at sea when he sees a boat off in the distance then it disappears.
66. I wasn't always a Flat Earther. In fact, I used to believe the Earth was round... ...until your mom sat on it.
67. Why do Flat-Earthers enjoy the quarantine? They finally get to flatten the curve.
68. We staged an intervention with our flat-earther friend. He said he felt cornered.
69. Flat-Earthers always change what they say about the Flat Earth for their convenience. Luckily there aren't any other groups that do that. Thank God.
70. A flat earther dies and goes to heaven. At the gates of heaven, St. Peter says to them, "Before you enter the gates of heaven, you may ask god one question." The flat earther asks, "God, is the earth flat?" God responds, "The earth is 100% a globe." The flat earther exclaims, "Holy crap! This conspiracy runs deeper than I thought!"
71. What do you call a flat earther vampire A no-sphere-atu
72. I was a Flat-Earther for 4 years Then I turned 5.
73. I agree with Flat Earthers on every thing except that the Earth is Flat
74. No, flat-earthers are right. The earth is supposed to be flat. Until they burried your mom beneath it.
75. How many flat earthers does it take to screw in a light bulb Trick question it’s a light disk
76. What's the problem with Flat Earthers? They just can't seem to get a round to it.
77. We staged an intervention with our flat-earther friend. He said he felt cornered.
78. I was in an argument with a flat Earther. I told him I didn’t believe him. He said he would video himself walking to the edge of the world. He’ll come around eventually.
79. Why Don't We Have a Reality Show Where Flat Earthers Walk to the End of the Earth? Because that would be edgy
80. Why do flat earthers enjoy talking to flight instructors? they tell them 5G might make them sick.
81. If the earth really is flat Wouldn't cats have pushed everything off the edge by now?
82. I was arguing with a flat Earth believer We argued about how many members the flat Earth community had. He said "We have members all around the globe".
83. Did you hear about the Flat Earther who went skydiving? He landed on a plane.
84. I am also a proud antivaxx mother, flat earther, Trump enthusiast and know for a fact climate change isnt real. There's no punchline, ive already told you the joke.
85. A flat-earther dies and goes to heaven. He arrives in heaven and is met by Saint Peter at the pearly gates. "You’ve lived your life free from sin and because of this, we welcome you into heaven my child." Says Saint Peter. The flat-Earther breathes a sigh of relief and starts to make his way through the gates of heaven. Before h... read more
86. An anti masker, An anti vaccer, A flat earther.... An anti masker, An anti vaccer, A flat earther all went to the bar... .. .. .. Now that's can't be coincidence
87. A vegan, an anti-vaxxer, and a flat earther walk into a bar I know because they told everyone in 5 minutes.
88. Flat Earther goes to Heaven A life long Flat Earther named Greg dies and goes to Heaven. Upon arrival at the Pearly Gates he meets St Peter who says "Welcome to Heaven Greg, today is your lucky day you're one of hundred people who can ask a question to God Greg: Can I ask him anything? St Peter: Anything So St Peter takes Greg and the ninety-nine others to talk to the big guy himself and St Peter says to Greg Your up first,this way Greg finds himself standing in front of God asks the only question that's on his mind Greg: God God: Yes my son Greg: I gotta know, is the Earth truly flat? God let's out a long sigh and rubs his head God: No Greg, the Earth is Round Greg being confused,thinks to himself This conspiracy goes higher than I thought
89. Me: The earth isn’t flat! fiat earther: correct me: huh? fiat earther: it’s the shape of an Italian car me: what? fiat earther: you read my name wrong didn’t you?
90. Did you hear about the Flat Earther who went skydiving? He landed on a plane.
91. What do you say when you meet a flat-earther? You're not from round here are ya?
92. What would be a terrifying game show for flat-earthers? Sphere Factor
93. I was in an argument with a flat Earther I told him I didn’t believe him. He said he would video himself walking to the edge of the world. He’ll come around eventually.
94. I was in an argument with a flat Earther I told him I didn’t believe him. He said he would video himself walking to the edge of the world. He’ll come around eventually.
95. A vegan, an anti-vaxxer, and a flat earther walk into a bar I know because they told everyone in 5 minutes.
96. Why do flat-Earthers think the Earth is flat? Because if the Earth is round, their world would be pointless
97. When a flat-earther finds conclusive evidence against their beliefs... ...it’s important for them to know that it’s not the end of the world.
98. How does a Flat Earther travel the world? on a plane
99. The main reason everybody hates flat Earthers ...is because they're so edgy.
100. What did the flat-earther say after finally seeing the earth from space? Half of the so-called "continents" are missing.
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