Top 100 Uncle Jokes

Welcome to the top 100 uncle jokes.

The Top 100 Uncle Jokes List

These are the top 100 Uncle Jokes for 2024.

1. Did you hear about the mathematician who’s afraid of negative numbers? He’ll stop at nothing to avoid them.
2. I'm reading a book on anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down.
3. I'm reading a book on anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down.
4. Want to hear a joke about construction? Oh, sorry, I’m still working on that one.
5. I'm reading a book on anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down.
6. I couldn't figure out which item to settle on, sorry about that. Maybe you can try asking for another subject or specific item?
7. "What did the big flower say to the little flower? Hi, bud!"
8. What's orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot.
9. What's orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot.
10. I'm reading a book on anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down.
11. Did you hear about the mathematician who’s afraid of negative numbers? He’ll stop at nothing to avoid them.
12. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
13. You should always knock on the fridge door before opening it; just in case there's a salad dressing.
14. Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? Just in case he got a hole in one.
15. I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.
16. What do you call fake spaghetti? An impasta!
17. I'm reading a book on anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down.
18. What did the 0 say to the 8? Nice belt!
19. Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? Just in case he got a hole in one.
20. What did the 0 say to the 8? Nice belt!
21. Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself? It was two tired.
22. How do you make a tissue dance? Put a little boogey in it.
23. I'm reading a book on anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down.
24. I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.
25. Did you hear about the mathematician who’s afraid of negative numbers? He’ll stop at nothing to avoid them.
26. I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.
27. What did the 0 say to the 8? Nice belt!
28. I'm reading a book on anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down.
29. I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough.
30. What do you call fake spaghetti? An impasta!
31. Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? Just in case he got a hole in one.
32. Why don’t scientists trust atoms? They make up everything.
33. I'm reading a book on anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down.
34. Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? Just in case he got a hole in one.
35. I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough.
36. "Why couldn’t the bicycle find its way home? It lost its bearings."
37. Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? Just in case he got a hole in one.
38. I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.
39. I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.
40. I'm reading a book on anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down.
41. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
42. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
43. Why did the chicken go to the seance? To talk to the other side.
44. "What did the big flower say to the little flower? Hi, bud!"
45. I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.
46. What did the 0 say to the 8? Nice belt!
47. What did the 0 say to the 8? Nice belt!
48. I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.
49. I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough.
50. I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough.
51. What did the 0 say to the 8? Nice belt!
52. "What did the big flower say to the little flower? Hi, bud!"
53. What's orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot.
54. I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.
55. I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough.
56. Want to hear a construction joke? Oh, sorry, I’m still working on that one.
57. Parallel lines have so much in common. It’s a shame they’ll never meet.
58. "Why couldn’t the bicycle find its way home? It lost its bearings."
59. I'm reading a book on anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down.
60. I'm reading a book on anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down.
61. Want to hear a construction joke? Oh, sorry, I’m still working on that one.
62. I'm reading a book on anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down.
63. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
64. What did the 0 say to the 8? Nice belt!
65. I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.
66. Why don’t scientists trust atoms? They make up everything.
67. What did the 0 say to the 8? Nice belt!
68. Why did the chicken go to the seance? To talk to the other side.
69. Did you hear about the mathematician who’s afraid of negative numbers? He’ll stop at nothing to avoid them.
70. You should always knock on the fridge door before opening it; just in case there's a salad dressing.
71. I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough.
72. I'm reading a book on anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down.
73. I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough.
74. I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.
75. I'm reading a book on anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down.
76. Did you hear about the mathematician who's afraid of negative numbers? He'll stop at nothing to avoid them.
77. What did the 0 say to the 8? Nice belt!
78. What did the big flower say to the little flower? Hi, bud!
79. "What did the big flower say to the little flower? Hi, bud!"
80. You should always knock on the fridge door before opening it; just in case there's a salad dressing.
81. Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself?
82. I couldn't figure out which item to settle on, sorry about that. Maybe you can try asking for another subject or specific item?
83. I'm reading a book on anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down.
84. Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? Just in case he got a hole in one.
85. I'm reading a book on anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down.
86. Want to hear a construction joke? Oh, sorry, I’m still working on that one.
87. "What did the big flower say to the little flower? Hi, bud!"
88. You should always knock on the fridge door before opening it; just in case there's a salad dressing.
89. I'm reading a book on anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down.
90. Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? Just in case he got a hole in one.
91. I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.
92. I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough.
93. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
94. How do you make a tissue dance? Put a little boogey in it.
95. I'm reading a book on anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down.
96. Want to hear a construction joke? Oh, sorry, I'm still working on that one.
97. I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough.
98. Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? Just in case he got a hole in one.
99. I'm reading a book on anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down.
100. I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough.

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