Cheers Quote Generator

1.  Woody: So, tonight, when I got out in front of that audience, I ripped off every stitch of clothing. I looked around and I thought, "Why am I the only one who's naked?" Sam: Well, maybe nobody noticed, Wood. Frasier: Oh, they noticed, Sam. Woody: As if that wasn't bad enough, I heard this high-pitched scream from the audience, "Hey, look! He's the only one who's naked!" Norm: Sorry, Woody. It took me by surprise. - Cheers

2.  Frasier: Everyone, I have an announcement to make. You may not have noticed but over the last year I've allowed myself to gradually fall out of shape. I'm frequently tired and I find I no longer have the energy for some of my daily activities. Lilith: Or some of your weekly ones. Frasier: Which is why Richard here is going to put me on a strict exercise and diet regimen. Now you may ask, "Why is Frasier sharing this information with the general public?" Carla: Because you're the loneliest man on earth. Lilith: He has another reason. - Cheers

3.  Sam: It's a sad world we live in when Sam Malone becomes the voice of reason. - Cheers

4.  Rebecca: Your husband came onto me at a local bar. Valerie: Do you mean he propositioned you? Rebecca: Well he didn't exactly proposition me. Valerie: Well what exactly did he do? Rebecca: He asked me about my feelings. Valerie: That is his field you know. Rebecca: That isn't all he did. He rubbed my leg with his disgusting foot. Sam: [to maid] She never gets tired of telling this part. - Cheers

5.  John Hill: My hat check girl is missing from her post. You haven't perchance seen her? Sam: What's that supposed to mean? Every time something goes wrong in your restaurant it's my fault. Like I'm the one who's supposed to keep track of your employees. You know that really ticks me off. [A girl comes out of Sam's office] Miss Kenderson: Sam, I can't get the sofa bed to fold back up. - Cheers

6.  Diane: For the first time in my life I let appearance taint my feelings towards a man. Sam: Boy, you know what's wrong with you? You just can't be honest with yourself. Looks are all that ever mattered to you. Diane: What are you talking about? That is utterly inaccurate. Sam: Oh yeah. You want me to prove it to you? Diane: Yes. Sam: Who were you more crazy about than anyone else in your entire life? Not including yourself there. It was me. And there was only one reason you ever went out with me and that was because of my looks. Diane: Not entirely. Sam: Yes, entirely. Name one other reason why anyone would go out with me. Come on. Name one. You can't, can you? Diane: [smiling] No Sam, I can't. - Cheers

7.  Diane: Coach, do you think I'm a smart person? Coach: You're the smartest person I ever met. Diane: Well, I, Diane Chambers, bred and educated to walk with kings, once offered a full scholarship to the Sorbonne, have allowed myself to become attracted to a six foot three inch bubble gum card. Coach: Well gee, I think I can help you out with the sore buns Diane, but...the rest of what you say is all over my head! - Cheers

8.  Frasier: Carla, death is an earthly scientific passage predicted by either massive physical injury or progressive bodily deterioration. There is as little validity in a supposed death dream as there is in the cliched image of death itself as a grim bloodless ghoul who's bony finger reaches out to tap you on the shoulder when your number's up. Lilith: [taps Frasier's shoulder] Frasier, it's time to go. Frasier: [Screams] Don't do that, woman. Put on some blush. - Cheers

9.  [Diane has decided to use Sam's sex life as the subject for her psychology paper] Diane: At what age did you have your first sexual encounter? Sam: Oh, alright, that's more like it. Okay, uh...[looks at her notes] "Trevor - A Case Study". Who, who's Trevor? Diane: That's you. Sam: You're not gonna use my name? Diane: Of course not. Sam: So... I do all the work and this "Trevor" guy gets the credit? Diane: Sam this is not your resumé. In a psychological treatise real names are never used. Sam: Yeah, but at least I should be able to choose my own name. I mean, how ‘bout "Duke"? Diane: This is my paper and I like Trevor. Sam: Alright, alright. Well, where were we? You, uh, wanted to know about my first time, right? Diane: Yes. How old were you? Sam: Well, uh, boy, I'm not sure. Uh, I know I couldn't get to her house until the crossing guard showed up. Wow. First time is kind of hard to remember. What about your first time? Diane: I'm the scientist, Sam. My first time has nothing to do with this. Now, what about your second encounter? Sam: Well, that would be the crossing guard. - Cheers

10.  Norm: Today I had to choose between two really great jobs. Couldn't make up my mind. Woody: What'd you do? Norm: I skipped them both and came in here. I think I made the right choice. - Cheers