Top 100 Comedian Jokes

Welcome to the top 100 comedian jokes.

The Top 100 Comedian Jokes List

These are the top 100 Comedian Jokes for 2024.

1. I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands!
2. I thought about going on an all-almond diet, but that's just nuts!
3. I have a fear of speed bumps, but I'm slowly getting over it!
4. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!
5. Why did the computer go to therapy? Because it had too many bytes!
6. "Yes, I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands!"
7. I'm on a seafood diet, I see food and I eat it!
8. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!
9. I thought about going on an all-almond diet, but that's just nuts!
10. I told my computer I needed a break, now it won't stop opening browser windows!
11. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!
12. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!
13. Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!
14. Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!
15. I'm on a seafood diet, I see food and I eat it!
16. I'm on a whiskey diet. I've lost three days already!
17. Why don't skeletons fight each other? They don't have the guts!
18. Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems!
19. Have you heard about the mathematician who's afraid of negative numbers? He'll stop at nothing to avoid them!
20. Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!
21. Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two tired!
22. What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet? Supplies!
23. I asked the librarian if they had any books on paranoia. She whispered, "They're right behind you!"
24. I used to be a baker before I got fired. They said I was loafing around!
25. What's a frog's favorite game? Croak-et!
26. Did you hear about the kidnapping at the park? They woke up!
27. I asked my dog what's the best part about the Swiss Alps. He said, "The view is paws-itively amazing!"
28. My wife told me I should do lunges to stay in shape. That would be a huge step forward!
29. Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!
30. Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!
31. Did you hear about the kidnapping at the park? They woke up!
32. Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!
33. Why did the math book look sad? Because it had too many problems!
34. I'm on a seafood diet, I see food and I eat it!
35. Why did the math book look sad? Because it had too many problems!
36. I'm on a seafood diet, I see food and I eat it!
37. I made a pun about the wind, but it blows!
38. I'm on a whiskey diet. I've lost three days already!
39. I'm writing a book on reverse psychology, please don't buy it!
40. Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!
41. I'm friends with 25 letters of the alphabet, I don't know why!
42. Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two-tired!
43. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!
44. Why don't skeletons fight each other? They don't have the guts!
45. Why don't skeletons fight each other? They don't have the guts!
46. Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one!
47. What's orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot!
48. Did you hear about the claustrophobic astronaut? He just needed a little space!
49. Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!
50. Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two-tired!
51. Why did the math book look sad? Because it had too many problems!
52. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!
53. Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!
54. I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug!
55. I'm on a whiskey diet. I've lost three days already!
56. I told my computer I needed a break, now it won't stop opening browser windows!
57. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!
58. I had a dream that I was a muffler. I woke up exhausted!
59. Why don't skeletons fight each other? They don't have the guts!
60. Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one!
61. Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!
62. Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts!
63. I told my computer I needed a break, now it won't stop opening browser windows!
64. "Yes, I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands!"
65. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!
66. Why did the math book look sad? Because it had too many problems!
67. I told my computer I needed a break, now it won't stop opening browser windows!
68. Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two-tired!
69. I'm on a whiskey diet. I've lost three days already!
70. I have a fear of speed bumps, but I'm slowly getting over it!
71. I told my computer I needed a break, now it won't stop opening browser windows!
72. I asked the librarian if they had any books on paranoia. She whispered, "They're right behind you!"
73. I used to be a baker before I got fired. They said I was loafing around!
74. Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two-tired!
75. My wife said I should do lunges to stay in shape. That would be a big step forward!
76. I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug!
77. I used to be a baker, but I couldn't make enough dough!
78. Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!
79. What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet? Supplies!
80. I used to be a baker before I got fired. They said I was loafing around!
81. I'm on a whiskey diet. I've lost three days already!
82. Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two-tired!
83. Why don't skeletons fight each other? They don't have the guts!
84. Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!
85. I used to be a baker before I got fired. They said I was loafing around!
86. Why did the math book look sad? Because it had too many problems!
87. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!
88. Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two-tired!
89. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!
90. I asked the librarian if they had any books on paranoia. She whispered, "They're right behind you!"
91. I'm on a seafood diet, I see food and I eat it!
92. I used to be a baker before I got fired. They said I was loafing around!
93. Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts!
94. I told my computer I needed a break, now it won't stop opening browser windows!
95. Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one!
96. What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet? Supplies!
97. Why did the math book look sad? Because it had too many problems!
98. I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised!
99. Why did the math book look sad? Because it had too many problems!
100. Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one!

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