Top 100 Comedian Jokes

Welcome to the top 100 comedian jokes.

The Top 100 Comedian Jokes List

These are the top 100 Comedian Jokes for 2024.

1. My wife told me I should do lunges to stay in shape. That would be a huge step forward!
2. I thought about going on an all-almond diet, but that's just nuts!
3. I told my computer I needed a break, and now it won't stop sending me beach wallpapers!
4. Did you hear about the chameleon who couldn't change color? He had a reptile dysfunction!
5. I asked the librarian if they had any books on paranoia. She whispered, "They're right behind you!"
6. I'm writing a book on reverse psychology, please don't buy it!
7. I'm on a seafood diet. I see food, and I eat it!
8. I used to be a baker, but I couldn't make enough dough!
9. What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet? Supplies!
10. Did you hear about the claustrophobic astronaut? He just needed a little space!
11. I have a fear of speed bumps, but I'm slowly getting over it!
12. Did you hear about the claustrophobic astronaut? He needed space!
13. Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!
14. Have you heard about the new restaurant on the moon? Great food, no atmosphere!
15. I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands!
16. I told my computer I needed a break, now it won't stop opening browser windows!
17. Did you hear about the claustrophobic astronaut? He needed space!
18. I'm on a whiskey diet. I've lost three days already!
19. What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet? Supplies!
20. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!
21. What's a frog's favorite game? Croak-et!
22. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!
23. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!
24. Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!
25. Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems!
26. Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!
27. I had a dream that I was a muffler. I woke up exhausted!
28. Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts!
29. Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!
30. My wife said I should do lunges to stay in shape. That would be a big step forward!
31. Why did the computer go to therapy? Because it had too many bytes!
32. I used to be a baker, but I couldn't make enough dough!
33. I'm reading a book on anti-gravity, it's impossible to put down!
34. Why did the computer go to the doctor? Because it had a virus!
35. Have you heard about the mathematician who's afraid of negative numbers? He'll stop at nothing to avoid them!
36. Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts!
37. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!
38. I'm on a seafood diet, I see food and I eat it!
39. Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one!
40. I used to be a baker, but I couldn't make enough dough!
41. I made a pun about the wind, but it blows!
42. Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one!
43. Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!
44. I thought about going on an all-almond diet, but that's just nuts!
45. Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!
46. I'm writing a book on reverse psychology, please don't buy it!
47. What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet? Supplies!
48. I have a fear of speed bumps, but I'm slowly getting over it!
49. I'm on a seafood diet. I see food, and I eat it!
50. Why don't skeletons fight each other? They don't have the guts!
51. My wife said I should do lunges to stay in shape. That would be a big step forward!
52. My wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo. I had to put my foot down!
53. I told my computer I needed a break, and now it won't stop sending me beach wallpapers!
54. Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one!
55. I'm writing a book on reverse psychology, please don't buy it!
56. Why did the computer go to the doctor? Because it had a virus!
57. I told my computer I needed a break, now it won't stop opening browser windows!
58. I told my computer I needed a break, now it won't stop opening browser windows!
59. I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.
60. Did you hear about the claustrophobic astronaut? He needed space!
61. I used to be a baker, but I couldn't make enough dough!
62. I asked the librarian if they had any books on paranoia. She whispered, "They're right behind you!"
63. Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!
64. What's a frog's favorite game? Croak-et!
65. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!
66. Have you heard about the mathematician who's afraid of negative numbers? He'll stop at nothing to avoid them!
67. Have you heard about the mathematician who's afraid of negative numbers? He'll stop at nothing to avoid them!
68. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!
69. I used to be a baker, but I couldn't make enough dough!
70. Parallel lines have so much in common. It’s a shame they’ll never meet!
71. I told my computer I needed a break, now it won't stop opening browser windows!
72. Why did the computer go to therapy? Because it had too many bytes!
73. I used to be a baker before I got fired. They said I was loafing around!
74. I asked my dog what's the best part about the Swiss Alps. He said, "The view is paws-itively amazing!"
75. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!
76. Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two tired!
77. I'm writing a book on reverse psychology, please don't buy it!
78. What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet? Supplies!
79. Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!
80. I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.
81. Why don't skeletons fight each other? They don't have the guts!
82. Have you heard about the new restaurant on the moon? Great food, no atmosphere!
83. I asked the librarian if they had any books on paranoia. She whispered, "They're right behind you!"
84. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!
85. "Yes, I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands!"
86. I'm writing a book on reverse psychology, please don't buy it!
87. Did you hear about the claustrophobic astronaut? He just needed a little space!
88. I'm on a seafood diet. I see food, and I eat it!
89. What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet? Supplies!
90. I told my computer I needed a break, now it won't stop opening browser windows!
91. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!
92. Why did the hipster burn his mouth? He drank his coffee before it was cool!
93. Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts!
94. "Yes, I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands!"
95. I thought about going on an all-almond diet, but that's just nuts!
96. I'm reading a book on anti-gravity. I just can't put it down!
97. What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet? Supplies!
98. Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!
99. Parallel lines have so much in common. It’s a shame they’ll never meet!
100. I almost got a job as a mirror cleaner, but I couldn't see myself doing it!

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