Top 100 Dad Jokes

Welcome to the top 100 dad jokes.

The Top 100 Dad Jokes List

These are the top 100 Dad Jokes for 2025.

1. How does a taco say grace? Lettuce pray.
2. Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? It's fine, he woke up.
3. Where does the Easter Bunny eat breakfast? At IHOP.
4. How do you find Will Smith in the snow? You look for the fresh prints.
5. How does a train eat? It goes chew chew.
6. Dear Math, grow up and solve your own problems.
7. What's the most patriotic sport? Flag football.
8. People are usually shocked that I have a Police record. But I love their greatest hits!
9. Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two tired!
10. What do you do to have a space party? You planet.
11. Why was the hockey player gifted a new cap? He was known for his hat tricks.
12. Singing in the shower is fun until you get soap in your mouth. Then it becomes a soap opera.
13. What do you call a potato that wears glasses? A spec-tater.
14. Why did the chicken cross the playground? To get to the other slide.
15. Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two-tired!
16. What do you call a hippie's wife? Mississippi.
17. What's a tornado's favorite game? Twister!
18. I failed my calculus exam because I was sitting in the middle of identical twins � I couldn't differentiate between them.
19. I know a lot of jokes about retired people but none of them work!
20. What's another name for a sad cup of coffee? Depresso.
21. Why did the banana go to the doctor? Because it wasn't peeling very well.
22. I'm on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it.
23. Why did the bicycle fall over? It was two-tired.
24. What did one wall say to the other wall? "I'll meet you at the corner."
25. What does a ghost serve for dessert? I scream.
26. What does a baby computer call his father? Data.
27. Did you hear the rumor about butter? Well, I'm not going to spread it!
28. After dinner, my wife asked if I could clear the table. I needed a running start, but I made it!
29. What did the skillet eat on its birthday? Pan-cakes.
30. Can you drop an egg on concrete without cracking it? Of course! Concrete is pretty difficult to break.
31. What do you call someone who tells dad jokes but isn't a dad? A faux pa.
32. Why don't seagulls fly over the bay? Because then they'd be bagels.
33. What did the dad say when his golden retriever was caught eating a hot dog? It's a dog eat dog world out there.
34. How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together.
35. What's blue and smells like paint? Blue paint.
36. Why don't eggs tell jokes? Because they'd crack each other up.
37. What did the sapphire's best friend tell her? You're a real gem.
38. How do you track down Will Smith? Follow the Fresh Prince.
39. Why was the belt sent to jail? For holding up a pair of pants!
40. Why shouldn't you tell secrets in a cornfield? There are too many ears.
41. Why did the cashier rip money in half? They were asked to break a bill.
42. Why do chicken coops only have two doors? Because if they had four, they'd be chicken sedans!
43. I was walking down the beach when I heard a swimmer yelling for help with a shark circling him. I just laughed....I knew that shark wasn't going to help him.
44. What did Baby Corn say to Mama Corn? Where's Pop Corn?
45. What's brown and sticky? A stick.
46. What did the drummer call his twin daughters? Anna one, Anna two!
47. I'm so good at sleeping that I do it with my eyes closed.
48. I'd avoid the sushi if I were you. It's a little fishy!
49. Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one.
50. The first thing Santa's elves learn in school is their elf-abet.
51. After an unsuccessful harvest, why did the farmer decide to try a career in music? Because he had a ton of sick beets.
52. What do you call security guards working outside Samsung shops? Guardians of the Galaxy.
53. How do you follow Will Smith in the snow? You follow the fresh prints.
54. What's the name of a very polite, European body of water? Merci.
55. Why did the scarecrow become a successful neurosurgeon? He was outstanding in his field.
56. How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together.
57. Why don't seagulls fly over the bay? Because then they'd be bagels.
58. What do you call a fish wearing a bowtie? Sofishticated.
59. Why did the man fall down the well? Because he couldn't see that well.
60. Why are cats bad storytellers? Because they only have one tale.
61. Can February march? No, but April may!
62. How do you steal a coat? You jacket.
63. What do you call a dog that can do magic? A Labracabrador.
64. Why are computers so intelligent? Because they listen to their motherboards.
65. Did you hear about the fragile myth? It was busted.
66. Why do melons have weddings? They cantaloupe!
67. What do you call an alligator wearing a vest? An Investigator.
68. I don't trust stairs. They are always up to something.
69. If you see a robbery at an Apple Store does that make you an iWitness?!
70. Why did the physics professor break up with the biology professor? There was no chemistry.
71. What would the Terminator be called in his retirement? The Exterminator.
72. How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together.
73. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
74. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!
75. What's red and smells like blue paint? Red paint.
76. I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.
77. I used to be addicted to the hokey-pokey until I turned myself around.
78. Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged.
79. My wife asked me to sync her phone, so I threw it into the ocean. I don't know why she's mad at me.
80. Why was the hockey player gifted a new cap? He was known for his hat tricks.
81. I have a joke about pizza, but it's too cheesy.
82. How do you follow Will Smith in the snow? You follow the fresh prints.
83. What can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the toilet? Because the "p" is silent.
84. Why shouldn't you write with a broken pencil? Because it's pointless.
85. What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet? Supplies!
86. Did you hear the rumor about butter? Well, I'm not going to spread it!
87. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
88. When does a joke turn into a dad joke? When it becomes apparent.
89. Why did the physics professor break up with the biology professor? There was no chemistry.
90. Why do melons have weddings? Because they cantaloupe.
91. How do you make a tissue dance? You put a little boogie in it.
92. I'm worried for the calendar because its days are numbered.
93. Why do pancakes always win at baseball? They have the best batter.
94. How do you tell the difference between a bull and a milk cow? It is either one or the utter.
95. Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two tired!
96. Have you heard about those new corduroy pillows? They're making headlines.
97. What kind of jokes do you tell during quarantine? Inside jokes.
98. I used to hate facial hair, but then it grew on me.
99. My friend keeps saying "cheer up man it could be worse, you could be stuck underground in a hole full of water." I know he means well.
100. I'm worried for the calendar because its days are numbered.

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