Top 100 Flat Earth Jokes

Welcome to the top 100 flat earth jokes.

The Top 100 Flat Earth Jokes List

These are the top 100 Flat Earth Jokes for 2024.

1. My friend gets really upset when I call him a flat-Earther He says the correct term is bulldozer operator.
2. Why did the flat earther break up with their partner? They couldn't handle the relationship going round in circles.
3. Flat-Earthers hate the fact our planet is spherical, whereas Asgard is flat. It's a Thor subject for them.
4. Why couldn't the flat-Earther fit his luggage in his car? No space.
5. What do a kinky lawyer and a flat earther have in common? Pulling evidence out if their ass
6. I want to become a flat earther. But I heard that there is a learning curve.
7. Why don’t flat earthers use social media? Because they can’t handle trending topics!
8. Flat-Earthers hate the fact our planet is spherical, whereas Asgard is flat. It's a Thor subject for them.
9. Why is it impossible for a flat Earther calculate the volume of the Earth? Because there is always a rounding error.
10. The Only Thing Flat-Earthers Fear Is Sphere Itself. my only joke i've ever came up with and it flat-out sucks. no way around it.
11. Why did the flat Earther bring a ladder to the bar? Because he heard the drinks were on the house!
12. Why did the flat-earther couple break up? They drove each other to the edge.
13. Guys, I'm not saying that Flat Earthers, Anti-Vaxxers, and Creationists are unintelligent people but... there is a reason why shoes with Velcro straps come in adult size.
14. I was in an argument with a flat Earther I told him I didn’t believe him. He said he would video himself walking to the edge of the world. He’ll come around eventually.
15. the only thing flat earthers fear... Is sphere itself!
16. There is a new reality show where flat earthers try to travel to the edge of the world. Unfortunately the finale is not a cliff hanger.
17. A flat earther dies and goes to heaven. At the gates of heaven, St. Peter says to them, "Before you enter the gates of heaven, you may ask god one question." The flat earther asks, "God, is the earth flat?" God responds, "The earth is 100% a globe." The flat earther exclaims, "Holy crap! This conspiracy runs deeper than I thought!"
18. An anti-vax mom and a flat-earther dad were having a friendly chat with their neighbor The neighbor says, "Well I have to go but send my best wishes to the kids. Tell them I hope they can shoot for the moon." The mom rather embarrassed says, "I'm sorry... In our family we don't allow shots at the moon."
19. What does a flat-earther do with a ball? He plays Frisbee!
20. The real reason for the missing of many flat-earthers in recent weeks as suggested by their friends of similar thought The Flat Earth Society has reported that the 6 foot social distancing measures have led to the pushing of some of their members over the edge.
21. Why did the flat earther break up with their partner? They couldn't handle the relationship going round in circles.
22. What do you say when you meet a flat-earther? You're not from round here are ya?
23. What's the difference between a politician and a flat earther? A politician fools the people and a flat earther fools himself
24. Why did the flat earther get kicked out of the bar? Because he kept trying to prove the drinks were all on the same level!
25. What do a kinky lawyer and a flat earther have in common? Pulling evidence out if their ass
26. Why do you have to use email to communicate with a flat earther? You can't reach them with fax.
27. Why do flat earthers enjoy talking to flight instructors? they tell them 5G might make them sick.
28. Flat-Earthers hate the fact our planet is spherical, whereas Asgard is flat. It's a Thor subject for them.
29. I used to be a Flat-Earther until I realized this The Earth can't be flat because my life keeps on going downhill.
30. Why do you have to use email to communicate with a flat earther? You can't reach them with fax.
31. What do you call someone who believes the Earth is flat? A non-globalist.
32. No, flat-earthers are right. The earth is supposed to be flat. Until they burried your mom beneath it.
33. My flat-earther friend was diagnosed by a psychologist He suffers from very sphere delusions.
34. I want to argue with flat earthers but... I just feel like we're not on a level playing field
35. What do flat-Earthers do on their vacations? They go to the edge of the world for a change of scenery!
36. Why is it impossible for a flat Earther calculate the volume of the Earth? Because there is always a rounding error.
37. Riddle: A flat-earther and a round-earther enter a maze at the same time. They each have a compass, and both know that the exit is on the North end of the maze. Which one exits the maze first? The round-earther exits first, because the flat-earther died of measles while inside.
38. My friend gets really upset when I call him a flat-Earther He says the correct term is bulldozer operator.
39. Why did the flat earther get kicked out of the bar? Because he kept trying to prove the drinks were all on the same level!
40. What do flat-Earthers do on their vacations? They go to the edge of the world for a change of scenery!
41. Why does everyone try to discredit Flat Earthers? It's like there's a global conspiracy.
42. Flat Earth is the only theory I've seen that can be disproven with a simple trip to the beach.
43. Why did the flat-Earther break up with his girlfriend? Because she said she needed space!
44. Why are there no highly credited esteemed flat-earthers? Because flattery will get you nowhere.
45. What do a kinky lawyer and a flat earther have in common? Pulling evidence out if their ass
46. My flat-earther friend decided to walk to the end of the world to prove it's flat! In the end, he came around.
47. Why do you have to use email to communicate with a flat earther? You can't reach them with fax.
48. Do you know how flat-earthers call 2020? Panic! At The Disc
49. Why did the flat Earther break up with their partner? They felt they were being taken for granted, but they just couldn't see things from a different angle.
50. How do you get a flat-Earther to shut up? Just push 'em off the edge.
51. Why didn't the flat-earther accept his award at the ceremony? He didn't believe in golden globes.
52. Guys, I'm not saying that Flat Earthers, Anti-Vaxxers, and Creationists are unintelligent people but... there is a reason why shoes with Velcro straps come in adult size.
53. Flat earthers are not very fond of the 2 metre distanceing They claim its pushing some of their members over the edge.
54. What’s the difference between a flat-earther and an anti-vaxxer? Their google searches.
55. What do a kinky lawyer and a flat earther have in common? Pulling evidence out if their ass
56. The main reason everybody hates flat Earthers ...is because they're so edgy.
57. Two flat earthers die and go to heaven. At the pearly gates they have the chance to ask god any questions they want and get truthful answers, so one flat earther asks god "is the earth flat?" to which god answers "No." The flat earther looks at the other and says "this goes higher than we thought".
58. A flat-earther dies and goes to heaven. He arrives in heaven and is met by Saint Peter at the pearly gates. "You’ve lived your life free from sin and because of this, we welcome you into heaven my child." Says Saint Peter. The flat-Earther breathes a sigh of relief and starts to make his way through the gates of heaven. Before h... read more
59. Why does everyone try to discredit Flat Earthers? It's like there's a global conspiracy.
60. Whats the differerence between a flat earther and a knife? A knife has a point
61. A flat Earther goes to heaven. A flat Earther dies while trying to fly in a homemade rocket and goes to heaven. There he meets up with God and says, "Oh Supreme Lord!! Tell me with utmost honesty. Is Earth round or flat ? " God replies, "It is round, my dear child." The flat earther thinks, " Wow ! This whole thing goes much higher than I thought."
62. What is a flat earther's favorite clothing brand? Land's End
63. My friend gets really upset when I call him a flat-Earther He says the correct term is bulldozer operator.
64. An anti-vax mom and a flat-earther dad were having a friendly chat with their neighbor The neighbor says, "Well I have to go but send my best wishes to the kids. Tell them I hope they can shoot for the moon." The mom rather embarrassed says, "I'm sorry... In our family we don't allow shots at the moon."
65. Flat-Earthers hate the fact our planet is spherical, whereas Asgard is flat. It's a Thor subject for them.
66. A round earth fact to a flat-earther is… …like what thanksgiving is to a turkey
67. There is a new reality show where flat earthers try to travel to the edge of the world. Unfortunately the finale is not a cliff hanger.
68. How does a Flat Earther travel the world? on a plane
69. A flat earther is shown a map of the world "Not only is this world flat as the map truly shows it to be but all the places and physical features are also fictional!" He says "Why do you think that?" Someone asks "Because in the key on the side it says everything is a legend."
70. Why did the flat-Earther break up with his girlfriend? Because she said she needed space!
71. What is a flat earthers favorite type of bread? Flatbread
72. A flat earther as your Secret Santa A bunch of employees participate in the annual Secret Santa exchange. They all draw a name from the hat. They all say what they want as presents. A woman stands up and jokingly says "I want a bra for my big globes." A man in a serious manner replies "I’ll get you a boob job instead."
73. Why did the flat earther get kicked out of the party? Because he kept insisting the drinks were all on the same level!
74. I went to an international "Flat Earther" convention the other day Turns out they have members all around the world
75. A Flat-Earther is lost at sea when he sees a boat off in the distance then it disappears.
76. No, flat-earthers are right. The earth is supposed to be flat. Until they burried your mom beneath it.
77. Why did the flat earther get kicked out of the party? Because he kept insisting the drinks were all on the same level!
78. My flat-earther friend decided to walk to the end of the world to prove it's flat! In the end, he came around.
79. A Flat-Earther is lost at sea when he sees a boat off in the distance then it disappears.
80. A particularly open-minded flat-earther started out on a journey, and decided he wouldn't stop traveling until he found evidence to convince him to change his worldview. And eventually he came around.
81. A flat-Earther died, and to his surprise found himself standing on a cloud in front of the gates of heaven A flat-Earther died, and to his surprise found himself standing on a cloud in front of the gates of heaven. God himself was there and told him he would be happy to answer any questions the man might have - about anything across the entirety of Space and Time. So of course the man said - "Was I right? Is the earth actually flat?" and God chuckled and said "Of course not". The man shook his head in disbelief, shaken to his very core, before murmuring "...this goes even higher than I thought..."
82. I want to argue with flat earthers but... I just feel like we're not on a level playing field
83. I was in an argument with a flat Earther I told him I didn’t believe him. He said he would video himself walking to the edge of the world. He’ll come around eventually.
84. The main reason everybody hates flat Earthers ...is because they're so edgy.
85. What do flat-Earthers do on their vacations? They go to the edge of the world for a change of scenery!
86. My friend gets really upset when I call him a flat-Earther He says the correct term is bulldozer operator.
87. I want to become a flat earther. But I heard that there is a learning curve.
88. What did the flat-earther say after finally seeing the earth from space? Half of the so-called "continents" are missing.
89. Flat earthers are not very fond of the 2 metre distanceing They claim its pushing some of their members over the edge.
90. What did the flat-earther say after finally seeing the earth from space? Half of the so-called "continents" are missing.
91. Why are there no highly credited esteemed flat-earthers? Because flattery will get you nowhere.
92. So I asked my friend who is a flat Earther to keep walking in one direction... I don’t know where he is now, but I know one thing: Best case scenario, one less flat Earther. Worst case scenario: one less flat Earther.
93. Flat Earthers vindicated The surface of the earth is approx 70% water. None of it is carbonated, thus proving the earth is flat.
94. The real reason for the missing of many flat-earthers in recent weeks as suggested by their friends of similar thought The Flat Earth Society has reported that the 6 foot social distancing measures have led to the pushing of some of their members over the edge.
95. My flat-earther friend decided to walk to the end of the world to prove it's flat! In the end, he came around.
96. What’s the difference between a flat-earther and an anti-vaxxer? Their google searches.
97. The Earth is 70% uncarbonated water Therefore the Earth is flat
98. How does a Flat Earther travel the world? on a plane
99. the only thing flat earthers fear... Is sphere itself!
100. A flat earther was asked to describe fear... They said there was nothing to fear but sphere itself.

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