Top 100 Halloween Jokes

Welcome to the top 100 halloween jokes.

The Top 100 Halloween Jokes List

These are the top 100 Halloween Jokes for 2022.

1. Why are spiders great baseball players? They know how to catch flies!
2. What's a vampire's favorite fruit? Neck-tarines.
3. What's a ghost's favorite dessert? I-Scream!
4. Why didn't the skeleton cross the street? He didn't have any guts.
5. What do you call two witches who live together? Broom-mates!
6. What’s a vampire’s least favorite meal? A steak!
7. What Halloween candy is never on time for the party? Choco-LATE!
8. Why are spiders great baseball players? They know how to catch flies!
9. What did the boy ghost say to the girl ghost? "You sure are boo-tiful!"
10. What do ghosts eat for dinner? Spook-ghetti!
11. How do you fix a broken jack-o'-lantern? With a pumpkin patch!
12. What was the witch’s favorite subject in school? Spelling.
13. Which monster loves to dance? The Boogieman!
14. What did one ghost say to the other ghost? Do you believe in people?
15. Who did Frankenstein go trick or treating with? His ghoul friend.
16. What do you call a skeleton who lays around all day? Lazy bones.
17. What kind of music do mummies like listening to on Halloween? Wrap music.
18. "Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Ben." "Ben who?" "Ben waiting for candy all day!"
19. What do you call a cleaning skeleton? The grim sweeper.
20. How do you mend a jack-o'-lantern? With a pumpkin patch.
21. What position does a ghost play in hockey? Ghoulie.
22. What did one ghost say to the other ghost? Do you believe in people?
23. Why was Cinderella bad at football? Because she had a pumpkin for a coach.
24. How do mummies tell their future? They read their horror-scope.
25. Why did the vampire read the newspaper? He heard it had great circulation.
26. Knock Knock! Who’s there? Hans. Hans who? Hans off my candy!
27. Why was Cinderella bad at football? Because she had a pumpkin for a coach.
28. What's a mummy's favorite type of music? Wrap.
29. Knock Knock! Who’s there? Dishes! Dishes who? Dishes a very Halloween bad joke!
30. Why do skeletons hate parties? They have no-body to dance with.
31. Which Halloween monster is good at math? Count Dracula!
32. Who helps the little pumpkins cross the road safely? The crossing gourd.
33. Why don’t mummies take vacations? They’re afraid to unwind.
34. What kind of music do mummies like listening to on Halloween? Wrap music.
35. What type of plants do well on all Hallow’s Eve? Bam-BOO!
36. Where do fashionable ghosts shop? Bootiques!
37. Why didn't the skeleton cross the street? He didn't have any guts.
38. Why do skeletons have low self-esteem? They have no body to love.
39. What happens when a vampire goes in the snow? Frost bite!
40. What’s a ghost's favorite yogurt flavor? Boo-berry!
41. Why do ghosts pick their noses? To get the boo-gers!
42. Knock, Knock. Who's there? Ivana. Ivana Who? Ivana suck your blood!
43. Why don’t mummies have friends? Because they’re too wrapped up in themselves.
44. Knock, Knock! Who's there? Boo! Boo who? Don't cry … it's just my Halloween costume!
45. "Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Orange." "Orange who?" "Orange you glad it's finally Halloween?"
46. Knock Knock! Who’s there? Bee! Bee who? Bee-ware, there’s a full moon this Halloween!
47. How does a witch style her hair? With scare spray.
48. Knock, Knock! Who's there? Boo! Boo who? Don't cry … it's just my Halloween costume!
49. What's a pumpkin's favorite genre? Pulp fiction.
50. How do you make a skeleton laugh? You tickle his funny bone!
51. "Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Witch." "Witch who?" "Witch one of you is giving me all your candy?"
52. What are two witches living together called? Broommates.
53. Knock Knock! Who’s there? Dishes! Dishes who? Dishes a very Halloween bad joke!
54. What room does a ghost not need? A living room.
55. Why was the candy corn booed off the stage? All of his jokes were too corny!
56. Why do skeletons have low self-esteem? They have no body to love.
57. What position does a ghost play in hockey? Ghoulie.
58. What does a panda ghost eat? Bam-BOO!
59. Why don't people like Dracula? He's a pain in the neck.
60. Why was Cinderella bad at football? Because she had a pumpkin for a coach.
61. What does the skeleton chef say when he serves you a meal? "Bone Appetit!"
62. Why didn't the skeleton cross the street? He didn't have any guts.
63. Knock, Knock. Who's there? Ivana. Ivana Who? Ivana suck your blood!
64. What do you get when you cross a vampire and a snowman? Frostbite.
65. Why can't ghosts lie? Because you can see right through them.
66. What does a panda ghost eat? Bam-BOO!
67. Why did the policeman ticket the ghost on Halloween? It didn’t have a haunting license.
68. Where does a ghost go on vacation? Mali-boo.
69. Why do ghosts pick their noses? To get the boo-gers!
70. Why don't I like Dracula? He's a pain in the neck.
71. What's a pumpkin's favorite genre? Pulp fiction.
72. What’s it called when a vampire has trouble with his house? A grave problem.
73. Where do ghosts go on vacation? Mali-boo.
74. Where do ghosts buy their food? At the ghost-ery store!
75. Why are spiders great baseball players? They know how to catch flies!
76. Knock, Knock! Who's there? Phillip! Phillip who? Phillip my bag with Halloween candy, please!
77. Why do ghosts pick their noses? To get the boo-gers!
78. Knock Knock! Who’s there? Bee! Bee who? Bee-ware, there’s a full moon this Halloween!
79. "Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Boo." "Boo who?" "Aw, don't cry, it's Halloween!"
80. Who won the skeleton beauty contest? No body.
81. What’s the best thing to put into a pumpkin pie? Your teeth.
82. What's a witch's favorite makeup? Ma-scare-a.
83. Where does a ghost go on vacation? Mali-boo.
84. What do ghosts eat for dinner? Spook-ghetti!
85. Knock, Knock. Who's there? Ivana. Ivana Who? Ivana suck your blood!
86. What treat do eye doctors give out on Halloween? Candy corneas.
87. Know why skeletons are so calm? Because nothing gets under their skin.
88. Why did the ghost starch his sheet? He wanted everyone scared stiff.
89. What do witches put on to go trick or treating? Mas-scare-a.
90. Why do skeletons have low self-esteem? They have no body to love.
91. What do skeletons order at a restaurant? Spare ribs.
92. Knock Knock! Who’s there? Olive! Olive who? Olive your Halloween costume!
93. Who helps the little pumpkins cross the road safely? The crossing gourd.
94. Which Halloween monster is good at math? Count Dracula!
95. What kind of food would you find on a haunted beach? A sand-witch!
96. Why did the ghost starch his sheet? He wanted everyone scared stiff.
97. What kind of music do mummies like listening to on Halloween? Wrap music.
98. Why can't ghosts lie? Because you can see right through them.
99. Why do demons and ghouls hang out together? Because demons are a ghoul's best friend!
100. Why couldn’t the mummy go to school with the witch? He couldn’t spell.

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