Top 100 Jokes

Welcome to the top 100 jokes.

The Top 100 Jokes List

These are the top 100 Jokes for 2024.

1. When I was in college I agreed to go out dancing at a club with some pals for my friend Eileen's birthday...

I don't really like to dance, so they had to twist my arm a bit, but when I got there I started to have a lot of fun.They played "The Twist" and I did the twist! They played "The Hustle" and I did the hustle!Then they played "Come On Eileen"...
2. What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator!
3. Did you hear about the kidnapping at the park? They woke up!
4. What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator!
5. Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
6. How do you make a tissue dance? Put a little boogey in it!
7. What did one wall say to the other wall? I'll meet you at the corner!
8. What do you get from a pampered cow? Spoiled milk!
9. What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator!
10. "What do you call a fish wearing a crown? Shellfish."
11. "Why did the math book look sad? Because it had too many problems."
12. What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear!
13. How did the astronaut serve their coffee? In flying saucers!
14. Why did the banana go to the doctor? Because it wasn't peeling well.
15. Did you hear about the WiFi that got married? The connection was just perfect!
16. Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two tired!
17. Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!
18. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!
19. Did you hear about the claustrophobic astronaut? He just needed a little space!
20. Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!
21. What do you call fake spaghetti? An impasta!
22. Why is North Korea so evil?

Because it's got no Seoul!
23. Did you hear about the kidnapping at the park? They woke up!
24. What did one wall say to the other wall? "I'll meet you at the corner!"
25. What did one ocean say to the other ocean? Nothing, they just waved.
26. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!
27. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!
28. Did you hear about the claustrophobic astronaut? He just needed a little space!
29. What did the big flower say to the little flower? Hi, bud!
30. Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two tired!
31. What kind of shoes do frogs wear? Open toad sandals!
32. Why do chicken coops only have two doors? Because if they had four, they would be chicken sedans!
33. What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire? Frostbite!
34. Why did the geometry teacher do so well at the art show? She had all the right angles!
35. How does a penguin make pancakes? With its flippers!
36. Why did the scarecrow become a successful neurosurgeon? He was outstanding in his field!
37. "Why did the math book look sad? Because it had too many problems."
38. How do you organize a space party? You planet!
39. What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear!
40. What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire? Frostbite!
41. How does a penguin make pancakes? With its flippers!
42. Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!
43. Why don't skeletons fight each other? They don't have the guts!
44. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!
45. How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together!
46. Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one!
47. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!
48. What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator!
49. Knock, knock. Who's there? "Boo." Boo who? Don't cry, it's just a joke!
50. Why did the computer go to the doctor? Because it had a virus!
51. How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together!
52. What did one wall say to the other wall? "I'll meet you at the corner!"
53. Why did the scarecrow become a successful neurosurgeon? He was outstanding in his field!
54. Why did the Lion cross the road?

To get to the other pride.
55. What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire? Frostbite!
56. Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because it felt crummy!
57. Did you hear about the claustrophobic astronaut? He just needed a little space!
58. What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear!
59. Did you hear about the kidnapping at the park? They woke up!
60. What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear!
61. Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two tired!
62. What did one wall say to the other wall? "I'll meet you at the corner!"
63. How does a penguin make pancakes? With its flippers!
64. Why did the math book look sad? Because it had too many problems!
65. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!
66. Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!
67. What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear!
68. What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire? Frostbite!
69. What do you call a fish wearing a crown? Shellfish.
70. Why does Waldo wear stripes? Because he doesn’t want to be spotted!
71. What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator!
72. Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems.
73. What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Nacho cheese!
74. Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged!
75. What did one ocean say to the other ocean? Nothing, they just waved.
76. How did the astronaut serve their coffee? In flying saucers!
77. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!
78. A guy goes to see the doctor . . .

. . . and pulls down his pants to reveal his penis is bright orange."Hmmm," the doctor says, "have you had any unprotected sex in the last 6 months?""No!" the man grumbled."Well, have you been to any 3rd-world countries lately?"No, I *haven't*," the man said nastily."Huh. Are you an intravenous drug user?"Getting really irritated the man snaps, "NO! NO! NO! I don't do any of that crap! All I do is sit at home and eat Cheetos and watch re-runs of Baywatch!"
79. What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire? Frostbite!
80. Why did the math book look sad? Because it had too many problems!
81. Did you hear about the kidnapping at the park? They woke up!
82. Why did the scarecrow become a successful neurosurgeon? He was outstanding in his field!
83. What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear!
84. Did you hear about the claustrophobic astronaut? He just needed a little space!
85. "What do you call a fish wearing a crown? Shellfish."
86. Why did the banana go to the doctor? Because it wasn't peeling well.
87. Why couldn't the leopard play hide and seek? Because it was always spotted!
88. What do you call fake spaghetti? An impasta!
89. What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator!
90. How does a penguin make pancakes? With its flippers!
91. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!
92. How do you make a tissue dance? Put a little boogey in it!
93. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
94. What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear!
95. Why couldn't the leopard play hide and seek? Because it was always spotted!
96. Why don't skeletons fight each other? They don't have the guts!
97. What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire? Frostbite!
98. How do you make holy water? You boil the hell out of it!
99. What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear!
100. How do you make holy water? You boil the hell out of it!

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