Top 100 Marriage Jokes

Welcome to the top 100 marriage jokes.

The Top 100 Marriage Jokes List

These are the top 100 Marriage Jokes for 2025.

1. Getting married is like going to a restaurant with friends. Everyone orders what they want, but when the bill comes, you all have to split it evenly.
2. "Why did the man put his money in the blender? He wanted to make liquid assets for his divorce."
3. Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything, just like a marriage.
4. My wife told me to stop acting like a flamingo, so I had to put my foot down.
5. "Why did the man put his money in the blender? He wanted to make liquid assets for his divorce."
6. Getting married is like going to a restaurant with friends. Everyone orders what they want, but when the bill comes, you all have to split it evenly.
7. I asked my wife if she ever fantasizes about me. She said yes, about me taking out the trash, mowing the lawn, and doing the dishes.
8. Marriage is all about compromise. I’ll make the coffee, and you can decide how you want it—cold or burnt!
9. I asked my wife if she ever fantasizes about me. She said yes, about me taking out the trash, mowing the lawn, and doing the dishes.
10. A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.
11. Marriage is all about compromise. I’ll make the coffee, and you can decide how you want it—cold or burnt!
12. Why did the man propose to his girlfriend on a roller coaster? Because he wanted to make sure she was up for the ups and downs of marriage!
13. How do you know when you've found your soulmate? When they understand your need for sleep more than they understand your need for conversation.
14. Why did the couple bring a ladder to their marriage? Because they heard the wedding vows were a high commitment!
15. Love is like a fart. If you have to force it, it’s probably crap.
16. A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.
17. Why did the husband bring a ladder to the wedding? Because he heard the cake was going to be tiered!
18. A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.
19. I asked my wife if she ever fantasizes about me. She said yes, about me taking out the trash, mowing the lawn, and doing the dishes.
20. Why did the husband bring a ladder to the wedding? Because he heard the cake was going to be tiered!
21. Why did the couple bring a ladder to their marriage? Because they heard the wedding vows were a high commitment!
22. Getting married is like going to a restaurant with friends. Everyone orders what they want, but when the bill comes, you all have to split it evenly.
23. My wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo. I had to put my foot down.
24. How do you know when you've found your soulmate? When they understand your need for sleep more than they understand your need for conversation.
25. "Why did the married couple go to the seafood restaurant? They heard it was a great plaice for a date!"
26. Why did the husband bring a ladder to the wedding? Because he heard the cake was going to be tiered!
27. A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.
28. "Why did the man put his money in the blender? He wanted to make liquid assets for his divorce."
29. I asked my wife if she ever fantasizes about me. She said yes, about me taking out the trash, mowing the lawn, and doing the dishes.
30. Getting married is like going to a restaurant with friends. Everyone orders what they want, but when the bill comes, you all have to split it evenly.
31. Why did the man propose to his girlfriend on a roller coaster? Because he wanted to make sure she was up for the ups and downs of marriage!
32. Why did the husband bring a ladder to the wedding? Because he heard the cake was going to be tiered!
33. I told my husband he should take up meditation. He told me he was too busy to sit still.
34. Marriage is like a deck of cards. In the beginning, all you need is two hearts and a diamond. By the end, you’re looking for a club and a spade.
35. Getting married is like going to a restaurant with friends. Everyone orders what they want, but when the bill comes, you all have to split it evenly.
36. Marriage is all about compromise. I’ll make the coffee, and you can decide how you want it—cold or burnt!
37. Marriage is all about compromise. I’ll make the coffee, and you can decide how you want it—cold or burnt!
38. Getting married is like going to a restaurant with friends. Everyone orders what they want, but when the bill comes, you all have to split it evenly.
39. A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.
40. Marriage is all about compromise. I’ll make the coffee, and you can decide how you want it—cold or burnt!
41. Why did the couple bring a ladder to their marriage? Because they heard the wedding vows were a high commitment!
42. Marriage is like a deck of cards. In the beginning, all you need is two hearts and a diamond. By the end, you’re looking for a club and a spade.
43. Why did the couple bring a ladder to their marriage? Because they heard the wedding vows were a high commitment!
44. Why did the man put his money in the blender? He wanted to make liquid assets for his divorce.
45. Why did the bride always carry a pencil on her wedding day? Because she wanted to draw a happy marriage!
46. Why did the married couple go to the seafood restaurant? They heard it was a great plaice for a date!
47. How do you know when you've found your soulmate? When they understand your need for sleep more than they understand your need for conversation.
48. Why do married people live longer? Because they can't argue with their spouse if they're dead!
49. Why did the married couple go to the seafood restaurant? They heard it was a great plaice for a date!
50. Why did the man propose to his girlfriend on a roller coaster? Because he wanted to make sure she was up for the ups and downs of marriage!
51. Why did the married man bring a ladder to the bar? Because he heard the drinks were on the house!
52. Why did the married couple go to the seafood restaurant? They heard it was a great plaice for a date!
53. Why did the man propose to his girlfriend on a roller coaster? Because he wanted to make sure she was up for the ups and downs of marriage!
54. Marriage is all about compromise. I’ll make the coffee, and you can decide how you want it—cold or burnt!
55. A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.
56. Why did the married couple go to the seafood restaurant? They heard it was a great plaice for a date!
57. Marriage is all about compromise. I’ll make the coffee, and you can decide how you want it—cold or burnt!
58. My wife told me to stop acting like a flamingo, so I had to put my foot down.
59. Why did the man put his money in the blender? He wanted to make liquid assets for his divorce.
60. A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.
61. Marriage is all about compromise. I’ll make the coffee, and you can decide how you want it—cold or burnt!
62. How do you know when you've found your soulmate? When they understand your need for sleep more than they understand your need for conversation.
63. Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything, just like a marriage.
64. "Why did the man put his money in the blender? He wanted to make liquid assets for his divorce."
65. I asked my wife if she ever fantasizes about me. She said yes, about me taking out the trash, mowing the lawn, and doing the dishes.
66. My wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo. I had to put my foot down.
67. How do you know when you've found your soulmate? When they understand your need for sleep more than they understand your need for conversation.
68. My wife told me to stop acting like a flamingo, so I had to put my foot down.
69. Why did the bride always carry a pencil on her wedding day? Because she wanted to draw a happy marriage!
70. Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband.
71. A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.
72. Why did the husband bring a ladder to the wedding? Because he heard the cake was going to be tiered!
73. Why did the married couple go to the seafood restaurant? They heard it was a great plaice for a date!
74. If a man opens a car door for his wife, you can be sure of one thing: either the car is new or the wife is.
75. A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.
76. Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything, just like a marriage.
77. "Why did the married couple go to the seafood restaurant? They heard it was a great plaice for a date! "
78. Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband.
79. Why did the man put his money in the blender? He wanted to make liquid assets for his divorce.
80. "Why did the man put his money in the blender? He wanted to make liquid assets for his divorce."
81. "Why did the man put his money in the blender? He wanted to make liquid assets for his divorce."
82. Marriage is all about compromise. I’ll make the coffee, and you can decide how you want it—cold or burnt!
83. Why did the man propose to his girlfriend on a roller coaster? Because he wanted to make sure she was up for the ups and downs of marriage!
84. Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband.
85. Marriage is all about compromise. I’ll make the coffee, and you can decide how you want it—cold or burnt!
86. A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.
87. Marriage is all about compromise. Like learning to say you're sorry when you know you're right.
88. "Why did the man put his money in the blender? He wanted to make liquid assets for his divorce."
89. My wife told me to stop acting like a flamingo, so I had to put my foot down.
90. Why did the couple bring a ladder to their marriage? Because they heard the wedding vows were a high commitment!
91. Why did the husband bring a ladder to the wedding? Because he heard the cake was going to be tiered!
92. Why did the married couple go to the seafood restaurant? They heard it was a great plaice for a date!
93. Why do married people live longer? Because they can't argue with their spouse if they’re dead!
94. I asked my wife if she ever fantasizes about me. She said yes, about me taking out the trash, mowing the lawn, and doing the dishes.
95. I asked my wife if she ever fantasizes about me. She said yes, about me taking out the trash, mowing the lawn, and doing the dishes.
96. Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband.
97. Why did the married couple go to the seafood restaurant? They heard it was a great plaice for a date!
98. Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband.
99. A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.
100. Why did the man put his money in the blender? He wanted to make liquid assets for his divorce.

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