Top 30 Chuck Norris Jokes

Welcome to the top 30 chuck norris jokes.

The Top 30 Chuck Norris Jokes List

These are the top 30 Chuck Norris Jokes for 2024.

1. When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.
2. Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because Chuck Norris only recognizes the element of surprise.
3. Whenever Chuck Norris leaves a room the Foo Fighters' "My Hero" starts to play out of nowhere.
4. Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
5. Chuck Norris was camping once and needed to releive himself so he dug a hole. You might know it as the Grand Canyon.
6. Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. Its descendants are now known as giraffes.
7. Chuck Norris was originally cast as the main character in 24, but was replaced by the producers when he managed to kill every terrorist and save the day in 12 minutes and 37 seconds.
8. When Chuck Norris enters a building that is on fire, the Chuck Norris alarm rings.
9. Chuck Norris once shot an enemy plane down with his finger, by yelling, “Bang!”
10. Chuck Norris’ roundhouse kick is so powerful, it can be seen from outer space by the naked eye.
11. Chuck Norris got in touch with his feminine side, and promptly got her pregnant.
12. In the Beginning there was nothing … then Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked nothing and told it to get a job.
13. Gravity is the scientific term for the attractive force of Chuck Norris.
14. Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull.
15. Chuck Noris had once kicked a giraffe into the mouth of a snake. Since then we call the snake - Brontosaurus.
16. Chuck Norris stands faster than anyone can run.
17. Chuck Norris makes onions cry.
18. When Chuck Norris enters a room, he doesn't turn the lights on, he turns the dark off.
19. When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
20. Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.
21. When we first landed on the moon, the astronauts noted there was print on the moon that said “Chuck Norris was here.”
22. We all know the magic word is please. As in the sentence, 'Please don't kill me.' Too bad Chuck Norris doesn't believe in magic.
23. Chuck Norris doesn’t breathe, he holds air hostage.
24. Chuck doesn't need to throw out the trash, it always throws itself out.
25. WARNING: Emails w/ attatchments from Chuck Norris should be unopened and deleted. It may contain a deadly computer virus titled Delta Force v.2.0 This virus actually Roundhouse kick the computer right in the motherboard.
26. When Chuck Norris was born the doctor asked him to name his parents.
27. Chuck Norris uses ribbed condoms inside out, so he gets the pleasure.
28. Chuck Norris was bitten by a cobra and after five days of excruciating pain… the cobra died.
29. Chuck Norris doesn't use pickup lines, he simply says, 'Now.'
30. Chuck Norris wrote half of these facts, he likes his fans to be informed.

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