Top 30 Dad Jokes

Welcome to the top 30 dad jokes.

The Top 30 Dad Jokes List

These are the top 30 Dad Jokes for 2024.

1. Do you think glass coffins will be a success? Remains to be seen.
2. My wife is really mad at the fact that I have no sense of direction. So I packed up my stuff and right!
3. Why can't a nose be 12 inches long? Because then it would be a foot.
4. Why do vampires seem sick? They're always coffin.
5. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
6. What's brown and sticky? A stick.
7. What did the ocean say to the surfer? Nothing. It only waved.
8. What does a house wear? Address.
9. My wife told me I had to stop acting like a flamingo. So I had to put my foot down!
10. Do you know the last thing my grandfather said to me before he kicked the bucket?
11. What did the evil chicken lay? Deviled eggs.
12. How many apples grow on an apple tree? All of them.
13. What did the dryer say to the boring duvet cover that just got out of the washer? Don't be such a wet blanket.
14. A skeleton walks into a bar and says, 'Hey, bartender. I'll have one beer and a mop.'
15. Why did the stadium get so hot after the game? Because all the fans left.
16. What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick.
17. Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one!
18. My toddler is refusing to nap. He's guilty of resisting a rest.
19. What's the name of a very polite, European body of water? Merci.
20. Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself? It was two tired.
21. What kind of music do mummies listen to? Wrap music.
22. What do you call someone with no body and no nose? Nobody knows.
23. What do you call 50 pigs and 50 deer? 100 sows and bucks.
24. How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together.
25. Why did the invisible man turn down the job offer? He couldn't see himself doing it.
26. I have a joke about trickle-down economics, but 99% of you will never get it.
27. Why did the bicycle fall over? It was two-tired.
28. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!
29. My dad told me a joke about boxing. I guess I missed the punch line.
30. Why did the coffee taste like dirt? Because it was ground just a few minutes ago.

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