Top 30 Dad Jokes

Welcome to the top 30 dad jokes.

The Top 30 Dad Jokes List

These are the top 30 Dad Jokes for 2024.

1. What did the flowers do when the bride walked down the aisle? They rose.
2. People are usually shocked that I have a Police record. But I love their greatest hits!
3. Justice is a dish best served cold. If it were served warm, it would be just-water.
4. If the early bird gets the worm, I'll sleep in until there's pancakes.
5. How do you make a tissue dance? You put a little boogie in it.
6. I used to be addicted to soap, but I'm clean now.
7. Why did the golfer bring an extra pair of pants? In case he got a hole in one.
8. How do you organize a space party? You planet.
9. What do you call a dog who meditates? Aware wolf.
10. I don't really call for funerals that start before noon. I guess I'm just not a mourning person!
11. Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged.
12. I love dad jokes, but I don't have kids, which makes me a Faux Pa.
13. What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta.
14. I've got a great joke about construction, but I'm still working on it.
15. What's a writer's favorite train station? Penn Station.
16. Two guys walked into a bar. The third guy ducked.
17. My toddler is refusing to nap. He's guilty of resisting a rest.
18. The pony couldn't sing because it was a little horse.
19. What did one wall say to the other? "I'll meet you at the corner."
20. You think swimming with sharks is expensive? Swimming with sharks cost me an arm and a leg.
21. Why did the astronaut leave the party? He needed a little space.
22. Why do ducks have feathers? To cover their butt quacks.
23. Some people can't distinguish between etymology and entomology. They bug me in ways I can't put into words.
24. Why did two tall people get along so well? The could really see eye to eye.
25. What do you get if you cross a snowman and a vampire? Frostbite.
26. What do frogs use to track their exercise? Fit (rib)bits.
27. Why don't skeletons fight each other? They don't have the guts.
28. Not to brag but I made six figures last year. I was also named worst employee at the toy factory.
29. What do you call a pile of cats? A meow-tain.
30. That fish wearing a bowtie is so sofishticated.

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