Top 30 It Jokes

Welcome to the top 30 it jokes.

The Top 30 It Jokes List

These are the top 30 It Jokes for 2024.

1. A group of computer science geeks were listening to a lecture about Java programming at a university. After the lecture, one of the men leaned over and grabbed a woman's breast. Woman: Hey! That's private OK ? The man hesitated for a second looking confused. Man: But I thought we were in the same class.
2. All programmers are playwrights, and all computers are lousy actors.
3. Why do the stories written by C programmers drag on forever? Because they can't write closures.
4. OK guys. Any idea how to make women more interested in us? C++: More exceptions? Python: Define our methods? ANSI-C: Stop treating them like objects?
5. The three most dangerous things in the world are a programmer with a soldering iron, a hardware engineer with a software patch, and a user with an idea. – The Wizardry Compiled by Rick Cook.
6. those who understand binary and those who don't.
7. Jesus and Satan have an argument as to who is the better programmer. This goes on for a few hours until they come to an agreement to hold a contest with God as the judge. They set themselves before their computers and begin. They type furiously, lines of code streaming up the screen, for several hours straight. Seconds before the end of the competition, a bolt of lightning strikes, taking out the electricity. Moments later, the power is restored, and God announces that the contest is over. He asks Satan to show his work. Visibly upset, Satan cries and says, "I have nothing. I lost it all when the power went out." "Very well," says God, "let us see if Jesus has fared any better." Jesus presses a key, and the screen comes to life in vivid display, the voices of an angelic choir pour forth from the speakers. Satan is astonished. He stutters, "B-b-but how?! I lost everything, yet Jesus' program is intact! How did he do it?" God chuckles, "Everybody knows… Jesus saves."
8. Why do programmers always mix up Halloween and Christmas? Because Oct 31 equals Dec 25.
9. Why do programmers prefer dark mode? Because light attracts bugs!
10. There are only 10 kinds of people in this world: those who know binary and those who don't.
11. Why does no one like SQLrillex? He keeps dropping the database.
12. Q: What did the Project Manager say to the Programmer? A: You start coding, I'll go find out what they want.
13. Comic
14. Why does no one like SQLrillex? He keeps dropping the database.
15. A programmer puts two glasses on his bedside table before going to sleep. A full one, in case he gets thirsty, and an empty one, in case he doesn't.
16. A man flying in a hot air balloon suddenly realizes he's lost. He reduces height and spots a man down below. He lowers the balloon further and shouts to get directions, "Excuse me, can you tell me where I am?" The man below says: "Yes. You're in a hot air balloon, hovering 30 feet above this field." "You must work in Information Technology," says the balloonist. "I do" replies the man. "How did you know?" "Well," says the balloonist, "everything you have told me is technically correct, but It's of no use to anyone." The man below replies, "You must work in management." "I do," replies the balloonist, "But how'd you know?"* "Well", says the man, "you don't know where you are or where you're going, but you expect me to be able to help. You're in the same position you were before we met, but now it's my fault."
17. A computer science student is studying under a tree and another pulls up on a flashy new bike. The first student asks, "Where'd you get that?" The student on the bike replies, "While I was studying outside, a beautiful girl pulled up on her bike. She took off all her clothes and said, ‘You can have anything you want'." The first student responds, "Good choice! Her clothes probably wouldn't have fit you."
18. A programmer puts two glasses on his bedside table before going to sleep. A full one, in case he gets thirsty, and an empty one, in case he doesn't.
19. A programmer walks to the butcher shop and buys a kilo of meat. An hour later he comes back upset that the butcher shortchanged him by 24 grams.
20. Why do programmers always confuse Christmas and Halloween? Because Oct 31 == Dec 25.
21. Why did the Lisp programmer get a new car? He ran out of storage space
22. Why does no one like SQLrillex? He keeps dropping the database.
23. Q. How did the programmer die in the shower? A. He read the shampoo bottle instructions: Lather. Rinse. Repeat.
24. Q: What did the Project Manager say to the Programmer? A: You start coding, I'll go find out what they want.
25. Hey! That's private OK ? The man hesitated for a second looking confused. Man: But I thought we were in the same class.
26. A computer science student is studying under a tree and another pulls up on a flashy new bike. The first student asks, "Where'd you get that?" The student on the bike replies, "While I was studying outside, a beautiful girl pulled up on her bike. She took off all her clothes and said, ‘You can have anything you want'." The first student responds, "Good choice! Her clothes probably wouldn't have fit you."
27. God as a Programmer
28. The three most dangerous things in the world are a programmer with a soldering iron, a hardware engineer with a software patch, and a user with an idea. – The Wizardry Compiled by Rick Cook.
29. Hey! That's private OK ? The man hesitated for a second looking confused. Man: But I thought we were in the same class.
30. The three most dangerous things in the world are a programmer with a soldering iron, a hardware engineer with a software patch, and a user with an idea. – The Wizardry Compiled by Rick Cook.

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