Top 30 Marriage Jokes

Welcome to the top 30 marriage jokes.

The Top 30 Marriage Jokes List

These are the top 30 Marriage Jokes for 2024.

1. Marriage is all about compromise. I’ll make the coffee, and you can decide how you want it—cold or burnt!
2. My wife told me to stop acting like a flamingo, so I had to put my foot down.
3. Getting married is like going to a restaurant with friends. Everyone orders what they want, but when the bill comes, you all have to split it evenly.
4. Getting married is like going to a restaurant with friends. Everyone orders what they want, but when the bill comes, you all have to split it evenly.
5. Marriage is all about compromise. I’ll make the coffee, and you can decide how you want it—cold or burnt!
6. Marriage is all about compromise. I’ll make the coffee, and you can decide how you want it—cold or burnt!
7. Why did the married couple go to the seafood restaurant? They heard it was a great plaice for a date!
8. Getting married is like going to a restaurant with friends. Everyone orders what they want, but when the bill comes, you all have to split it evenly.
9. Why did the husband bring a ladder to the wedding? Because he heard the cake was going to be tiered!
10. Why did the bride always carry a pencil on her wedding day? Because she wanted to draw a happy marriage!
11. A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.
12. Why did the man put his money in the blender? He wanted to make liquid assets for his divorce.
13. Marriage is all about compromise. I’ll make the coffee, and you can decide how you want it—cold or burnt!
14. My wife told me to stop acting like a flamingo, so I had to put my foot down.
15. Why did the man put his money in the blender? He wanted to make liquid assets for his divorce.
16. Why did the married man bring a ladder to the bar? Because he heard the drinks were on the house!
17. A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.
18. A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.
19. Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband.
20. Marriage is all about compromise. Like learning to say you're sorry when you know you're right.
21. Why did the married couple go to the seafood restaurant? They heard it was a great plaice for a date!
22. I asked my wife if she ever fantasizes about me. She said yes, about me taking out the trash, mowing the lawn, and doing the dishes.
23. "Why did the man put his money in the blender? He wanted to make liquid assets for his divorce."
24. Getting married is like going to a restaurant with friends. Everyone orders what they want, but when the bill comes, you all have to split it evenly.
25. If a man opens a car door for his wife, you can be sure of one thing: either the car is new or the wife is.
26. Why do married people live longer? Because they can’t argue with their spouse if they’re dead!
27. Love is like a fart. If you have to force it, it’s probably crap.
28. Why did the man put his money in the blender? He wanted to make liquid assets for his divorce.
29. How do you know when you've found your soulmate? When they understand your need for sleep more than they understand your need for conversation.
30. Why do married people live longer? Because they can't argue with their spouse if they're dead!

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