Top 30 Marriage Jokes

Welcome to the top 30 marriage jokes.

The Top 30 Marriage Jokes List

These are the top 30 Marriage Jokes for 2025.

1. Marriage is like a deck of cards. In the beginning, all you need is two hearts and a diamond. By the end, you’re looking for a club and a spade.
2. Why did the husband bring a ladder to the wedding? Because he heard the cake was going to be tiered!
3. Getting married is like going to a restaurant with friends. Everyone orders what they want, but when the bill comes, you all have to split it evenly.
4. Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything, just like a marriage.
5. Why did the husband bring a ladder to the wedding? Because he heard the cake was going to be tiered!
6. Why did the man put his money in the blender? He wanted to make liquid assets for his divorce.
7. I told my husband he should take up meditation. He told me he was too busy to sit still.
8. Why did the husband bring a ladder to the wedding? Because he heard the cake was going to be tiered!
9. Getting married is like going to a restaurant with friends. Everyone orders what they want, but when the bill comes, you all have to split it evenly.
10. A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.
11. "Why did the man put his money in the blender? He wanted to make liquid assets for his divorce."
12. "Why did the man put his money in the blender? He wanted to make liquid assets for his divorce."
13. Why did the couple bring a ladder to their marriage? Because they heard the wedding vows were a high commitment!
14. Getting married is like going to a restaurant with friends. Everyone orders what they want, but when the bill comes, you all have to split it evenly.
15. Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband.
16. Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything, just like a marriage.
17. Why did the married couple go to the seafood restaurant? They heard it was a great plaice for a date!
18. I told my husband he should take up meditation. He told me he was too busy to sit still.
19. Why did the married couple go to the seafood restaurant? They heard it was a great plaice for a date!
20. Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband.
21. "Why did the man put his money in the blender? He wanted to make liquid assets for his divorce."
22. Why did the husband bring a ladder to the wedding? Because he heard the cake was going to be tiered!
23. Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything, just like a marriage.
24. Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything, just like a marriage.
25. Why did the man propose to his girlfriend on a roller coaster? Because he wanted to make sure she was up for the ups and downs of marriage!
26. Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband.
27. How do you know when you've found your soulmate? When they understand your need for sleep more than they understand your need for conversation.
28. Why did the man put his money in the blender? He wanted to make liquid assets for his divorce.
29. "Why did the married couple go to the seafood restaurant? They heard it was a great plaice for a date!"
30. Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband.

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