Top 30 Marriage Jokes

Welcome to the top 30 marriage jokes.

The Top 30 Marriage Jokes List

These are the top 30 Marriage Jokes for 2024.

1. I told my husband he should take up meditation. He told me he was too busy to sit still.
2. My wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo. I had to put my foot down.
3. Why did the husband bring a ladder to the wedding? Because he heard the cake was going to be tiered!
4. A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.
5. Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband.
6. Why did the married couple go to the seafood restaurant? They heard it was a great plaice for a date!
7. "Why did the man put his money in the blender? He wanted to make liquid assets for his divorce."
8. Love is like a fart. If you have to force it, it’s probably crap.
9. "Why did the man put his money in the blender? He wanted to make liquid assets for his divorce."
10. A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.
11. I asked my wife if she ever fantasizes about me. She said yes, about me taking out the trash, mowing the lawn, and doing the dishes.
12. I asked my wife if she ever fantasizes about me. She said yes, about me taking out the trash, mowing the lawn, and doing the dishes.
13. Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband.
14. My wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo. I had to put my foot down.
15. Marriage is all about compromise. I’ll make the coffee, and you can decide how you want it—cold or burnt!
16. Marriage is all about compromise. I’ll make the coffee, and you can decide how you want it—cold or burnt!
17. Love is like a fart. If you have to force it, it’s probably crap.
18. Marriage is like a deck of cards. In the beginning, all you need is two hearts and a diamond. By the end, you wish you had a club and a spade.
19. A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.
20. Getting married is like going to a restaurant with friends. Everyone orders what they want, but when the bill comes, you all have to split it evenly.
21. Why did the man put his money in the blender? He wanted to make liquid assets for his divorce.
22. "Why did the man put his money in the blender? He wanted to make liquid assets for his divorce."
23. My wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo. I had to put my foot down.
24. Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything, just like a marriage.
25. Why did the man put his money in the blender? He wanted to make liquid assets for his divorce.
26. Why did the married couple go to the seafood restaurant? They heard it was a great plaice for a date!
27. Why did the man put his money in the blender? He wanted to make liquid assets for his divorce.
28. Getting married is like going to a restaurant with friends. Everyone orders what they want, but when the bill comes, you all have to split it evenly.
29. Marriage is all about compromise. Like learning to say you're sorry when you know you're right.
30. Why do married people live longer? Because they can't argue with their spouse if they're dead!

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