Top 30 Uncle Jokes

Welcome to the top 30 uncle jokes. .

The Top 30 Uncle Jokes List

These are the top 30 Uncle Jokes for 2024.

1. Why don�t some couples go to the gym? Because they�re burning calories in the bedroom.
2. Why don�t you ever see elephants hiding in trees? Because they�re too busy hiding something else�like their peanuts.
3. Why don�t some people eat snails? Because they�re too slow to keep up with the appetite in bed.
4. What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman.
5. What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh�and it still can�t see that you�re the catch of the day.
6. What�s long, hard, and full of seamen? A submarine, obviously�get your mind out of the gutter.
7. How do you make a hormone? Don�t pay her.
8. What do you call a cheap circumcision? A rip-off.
9. Why don�t oysters donate to charity? Because they�re shellfish�and they�ve got a pearl of a secret they�re hiding.
10. Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged�and it was by a latte that wasn�t even half-caf.
11. Why was the computer cold? It left its Windows open�and caught a virus that even Norton couldn�t handle.
12. What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef�and a vegetarian�s worst nightmare.
13. Why did the man put his money in the blender? He wanted to make some liquid assets�and ended up with a smoothie that tastes like bad investments.
14. Why did the scarecrow become a successful politician? Because he was outstanding in his field�and he knew how to keep the skeletons buried.
15. Why did the banana go to the doctor? Because it wasn�t peeling well�and things were getting a little too ripe in the bedroom.
16. What�s long, hard, and full of seamen? A submarine, obviously�get your mind out of the gutter.
17. Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one�and needed a clean pair after celebrating with the cart girl.
18. Why was the computer cold? It left its Windows open�and caught a virus that even Norton couldn�t handle.
19. What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear�and he�s sweeter than your last Tinder date.
20. What�s the difference between a G-spot and a golf ball? A guy will actually search for a golf ball.
21. What�s the best thing about Switzerland? I don�t know, but the flag is a big plus�and so is the chocolate after a night in Zurich.
22. Why don�t oysters donate to charity? Because they�re shellfish�and they�ve got a pearl of a secret they�re hiding.
23. What�s orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot�unless it�s been marinated in something stronger.
24. Why don�t cannibals eat clowns? Because they taste funny�and no one likes to get their face paint smeared.
25. Why was the computer cold? It left its Windows open�and caught a virus that even Norton couldn�t handle.
26. Why was the computer cold? It left its Windows open�and caught a virus that even Norton couldn�t handle.
27. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing�and it wasn�t ready for that kind of exposure.
28. Why don�t you ever see elephants hiding in trees? Because they�re too busy hiding something else�like their peanuts.
29. Why did the stadium get hot? All the fans left�and the players started scoring in the locker room.
30. What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh�and it still can�t see that you�re the catch of the day.

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