Top 50 Antijokes
Welcome to the top 50 antijokes.
The Top 50 Antijokes List
These are the top 50 Antijokes for 2024.
1. What Do You Call a Fat Hobo? Whatever his name is.2. Why Did the Firman Wear Red Suspenders? To keep his pants up.
3. What do you call a pencil sharpener that can't sharpen pencils? Broken.
4. How tall is the Empire State Building? One Empire State Building tall.
5. Why did the girl drop her ice cream cone? She tripped over a pothole.
6. If Dave has 50 chocolate bars and eats 45, what does he have left? Diabetes. Dave has diabetes.
7. What's yellow and is something you shouldn't drink? A school bus.
8. Why Did the Toilet Paper Roll Down the Hill? Because of gravity.
9. What Did the Farmer Say When He Lost His Tractor? Where's my tractor?
10. My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard and I'm like this is private property and if you don’t leave I will call the police.
11. What Do You Get when You Throw a Green Rock into the Red Sea? A wet rock.
12. How tall is the Empire State Building? One Empire State Building tall.
13. Why Did the Toilet Paper Roll Down the Hill? Because of gravity.
14. Why Did the Man Dress Up as a Clown? To scare kids.
15. What’s best about living in Switzerland? Nothing, except that the flag is a plus.
16. What’s black and white and eats like a horse? A zebra.
17. What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.
18. If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to hear it… Then my illegal logging company is a success.
19. Why Couldn't Jane Swing on the Swing Set? Her mom said no.
20. What do a banana and a helicopter have in common? Neither of them is a police officer.
21. My girlfriend is like an iPhone 7. She doesn't have a headphone jack.
22. What Do Vampires and Zombies Have in Common? Neither one of them is real.
23. Yo momma’s so fat, we are all extremely concerned for her health.
24. Two Fish Are in a Tank One turns to the other and asks, How do you drive this thing? Then the fish die due to lack of water.
25. What Do You Call an Old Man Who's Just Been Stabbed? An ambulance.
26. A Man Had Three Sons Named Brick, Tree, and Lamp. And they all got bullied for having stupid names.
27. What's Batman's favorite fruit? BA-NA-NA-NA-NA-NA-NA-NA BA-NA-NA-NA-NA-NA-NA-NA grapefruit
28. Did You Hear About the Race Between the Lettuce and the Tomato? No.
29. You know what's really odd? Numbers that aren't divisible by two.
30. If Dave has 50 chocolate bars and eats 45, what does he have left? Diabetes. Dave has diabetes.
31. What Do a Banana and a Helicopter Have in Common? Neither of them is a police officer.
32. What did one stranger say to the other? Nothing. They didn’t know each other.
33. What Do You Call a Fish with No Eyes? A Fsh.
34. How Do You Drop an Egg on a Concrete Floor Without Breaking It? By dropping it gently, as the impact tends to be less than the expected force required to break an egg's shell.
35. What Did the German Man Say to the German Woman? Hallo, wie geht es dir?
36. hat is Green, Has Six Legs, and Would Kill You if It Fell out of a Tree? A pool table.
37. How do you get someone to stop swinging on the tire swing? Snip the rope.
38. What's Batman's favorite fruit? BA-NA-NA-NA-NA-NA-NA-NA BA-NA-NA-NA-NA-NA-NA-NA grapefruit
39. Humpty Dumpty had a great fall… And a pretty good spring and summer too.
40. Why can’t Tommy the T-Rex clap? Because dinosaurs have been extinct for 65 million years.
41. Knock, knock I wonder who is at the door. I hope they know a good joke, since levity in important in this cruel life. You have to smile sometimes.
42. What’s the Difference Between an Elephant and a Matter Baby? What’s a Matter Baby?
43. Friends are Like Horses. If You Kill Them, They Die.
44. A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks him, Why the long face? The horse says, Evolution.
45. Friends are Like Horses. If You Kill Them, They Die.
46. What Do You Call a Pimp Dinosaur? Nothing. They are dead.
47. How is a bar of soap the same as your dreams? They’re both amazing at slipping away.
48. What Do You Call a Fish with No Eyes? Blind.
49. Never trust an atom. They make up everything.
50. You don’t need a parachute to go skydiving. You need a parachute to go skydiving twice.
Generator more Antijokes
Need more Antijokes? Generate more with the AntiJoke Generator.
Share your Favourite Top 50 Antijokes in the comments below: