Top 50 Antijokes

Welcome to the top 50 antijokes.

The Top 50 Antijokes List

These are the top 50 Antijokes for 2024.

1. How is a bar of soap the same as your dreams? They’re both amazing at slipping away.
2. How Do You Drop an Egg on a Concrete Floor Without Breaking It? By dropping it gently, as the impact tends to be less than the expected force required to break an egg's shell.
3. Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because he was hit by a bus.
4. I talk to myself because sometimes I just need advice.
5. What's yellow and is something you shouldn't drink? A school bus.
6. Yo Momma's So Fat, She Shops in the Plus-size Department
7. What do you call 100 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? A horrible boating accident.
8. What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in your caramel apple. They usually cost more.
9. A Pun, a Play on Words, and a Limerick Walk into a Bar. No joke.
10. Do you want to know my secret to sanity? Red wine.
11. What Does a Tree and a Dog Have in Common? Bark.
12. What Do Monkeys Eat for Breakfast? Not cake.
13. Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.
14. Do you know what’s odd? Every other number.
15. How do you confuse a blonde? Paint yourself green and throw forks at her.
16. Learning how to collect trash wasn’t hard. I just picked it up as I went along.
17. What is Red and Farts? Any person wearing red.
18. What Do You Call a Blind Cow? A blind cow.
19. Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because he was hit by a bus.
20. What's green and has wheels? Grass. I lied about the wheels.
21. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
22. Yo Momma's So Fat, She Shops in the Plus-size Department
23. Why Didn't the Time Machine Work? Because the concept of a time machine breaks several laws of physics.
24. Why Isn't Helen Keller a Good Driver? Because she's dead.
25. Why Was the Lone Ranger Buried on the Side of the Hill? Because he was dead.
26. What’s green, red, orange, purple, blue and yellow? Colors.
27. What's the Difference Between Tuna, a Piano, and Glue? You can tune a piano, but you can't piano a tuna.
28. What Do You Call Someone Who Can Find the Square Root of 326,769? Good at math.
29. What did the doctor say to the other doctor? We’re both doctors!
30. Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.
31. You're Momma's So Fat That They're Extremely Concerned About Her Health
32. What Do a Banana and a Helicopter Have in Common? Neither of them is a police officer.
33. What’s blue and smells like red paint? Blue paint.
34. What's orange and tastes like an orange? An orange.
35. What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.
36. Why did the dinosaur say "hello" to the little girl? He was being polite.
37. Where was the Constitution signed? The bottom.
38. What’s worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being robbed.
39. A Pun, a Play on Words, and a Limerick Walk into a Bar. No joke.
40. Two muffins are in an oven. One says to the other, “Dang, it’s hot in here.” The other replies, “Yeah, probably like 350 degrees.”
41. Why was the boy crying? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.
42. What Do Monkeys Eat for Breakfast? Not cake.
43. What Do You Call a Fish with No Eyes? Blind.
44. Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.
45. Why was six afraid of seven? It wasn't. Numbers are not capable of feeling fear.
46. How is a bar of soap the same as your dreams? They're both amazing at slipping away.
47. Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because he was hit by a bus.
48. Why Couldn't Jane Swing on the Swing Set? Her mom said no.
49. A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks him, “Why the long face?” The horse says, “Evolution.”
50. What would Kurt Cobain be doing if he was still alive? Clawing at the inside of his casket.

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