Top 50 Antijokes

Welcome to the top 50 antijokes.

The Top 50 Antijokes List

These are the top 50 Antijokes for 2024.

1. Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.
2. Why do flamingos stand on one leg? If they lifted up the other one they’d fall over.
3. You know it's cold when you go outside and it's cold.
4. How Did the Skeleton Know It Was Going to Rain? He read the weather forcast.
5. Because unaccustomed to the terrain, he got lost and succumbed to the elements.
6. What’s one thing you can do over and over again and not remember a single thing? Drinking alcohol.
7. What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? "We're both lawyers!"
8. When birds fly in a V, why is one side always longer than the other? Because there are more birds on one side.
9. Do you want to know my secret to sanity? Red wine.
10. Why did Katie break open her piggy bank? She ran out of money.
11. What do an elephant and a grape have in common? One of them is purple.
12. Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.
13. Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because he was hit by a bus.
14. Every 60 seconds in Africa, a minute passes.
15. Why did Katie break open her piggy bank? She ran out of money.
16. What’s black and white and eats like a horse? A zebra.
17. Want to hear something that will make you smile? Your facial muscles.
18. Last Christmas, I Gave You My Heart. And the Very Next Day......I died because no one can live without a heart.
19. What do you call a joke that isn't funny? A sentence.
20. Learn sign language. It’s very handy.
21. Do you know why I look like I can’t hear you? Because I can’t, my headphones are on.
22. Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.
23. Do you want to know what always makes me smile? Face muscles.
24. Scientific fact: If you took all the veins from your body and laid them end to end, you would die.
25. What’s worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being robbed.
26. What did the Hungarian say before he went to bed? I'm going to bed, but he said it in Hungarian.
27. Did you fall from heaven? Because it looks like you landed on your face.
28. Because unaccustomed to the terrain, he got lost and succumbed to the elements.
29. How do you confuse a blonde? Paint yourself green and throw forks at her.
30. What Has a Head and Tail but No Legs or Feet? A snake, stupid.
31. What Do You Get when You Cross a Knock-knock Joke with a Rhetorical Question?
32. Why did the girl bring a ladder to the bar? Because she heard the drinks were on the house.
33. What Did the Tyrannosaurus Rex Say to the Stegosaurus? Nothing, they lived in different time periods.
34. Why Did the Neurosurgeon Catch the Train? He didn't want to walk to work.
35. What's the Difference Between Donald Trump and Apples? Everything.
36. What Do You Call a Person Who Has No Friends? Lonely.
37. I can still remember my Grandpa's last words before he kicked the bucket. He said, "Hey, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?"
38. A Pun, a Play on Words, and a Limerick Walk into a Bar. No joke.
39. How do you organize a space party? You planet.
40. What's More Dangerous than Running with Scissors? Falling on them.
41. What did the farmer say after he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?
42. What Did One Japanese Man Say to Another? I don't know, I don't speak Japanese. Why Can't the Blonde Call His Friends? Because his parents say he's to young to have a phone.
43. Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.
44. What’s best about living in Switzerland? Nothing, except that the flag is a plus.
45. By dropping it gently, as the impact tends to be less than the expected force required to break an egg's shell.
46. What do you call a medical student that graduated last in their class? Doctor.
47. I talk to myself because sometimes I just need advice.
48. What Happened when the Horse Walked into the Bar? Seeing the danger in the situation, several people got up.
49. A proton walks into a bar. No one noticed it because protons are tiny and everywhere.
50. Did You Hear About the Race Between the Lettuce and the Tomato? No.

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