Top 50 Chuck Norris Jokes
Welcome to the top 50 chuck norris jokes.
The Top 50 Chuck Norris Jokes List
These are the top 50 Chuck Norris Jokes for 2024.
1. Chuck Norris does not own a stove, oven, or microwave , because revenge is a dish best served cold.2. It is believed dinosaurs are extinct due to a giant meteor. That's true if you want to call Chuck Norris a giant meteor.
3. Death once had a near-Chuck-Norris experience.
4. The only time Chuck Norris was wrong was when he thought he had made a mistake.
5. Chuck Norris' calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd. No one fools Chuck Norris.
6. Chuck Norris can squeeze orange juice out of a lemon.
7. There are no streets named after Chuck Norris because no one would ever cross Chuck Norris
8. Chuck Norris doesn't negotiate with terrorists. The terrorists negotiate with Chuck Norris.
9. Chuck Norris’s belly button is actually a power outlet.
10. Chuck Norris never retreats, he just attacks in the opposite direction.
11. The sun has to wear sunglasses when Chuck Norris glances at it.
12. There's an order to the universe: space, time, Chuck Norris ... Just kidding, Chuck Norris is first.
13. Chuck Norris CAN lick his elbow.
14. Chuck Norris can kill your imaginary friends.
15. It is considered a great accomplishment to go down Niagara Falls in a wooden barrel. Chuck Norris can go up Niagara Falls in a cardboard box.
16. Chuck Norris can do a wheelie on a unicycle.
17. Chuck Norris uses ribbed condoms inside out, so he gets the pleasure.
18. Chuck Norris once shot an enemy plane down with his finger, by yelling, 'Bang!'
19. It is considered a great accomplishment to go down Niagara Falls in a wooden barrel. Chuck Norris can go up Niagara Falls in a cardboard box.
20. When Chuck Norris was a child at school, his teachers would raise their hands in order to talk to him.
21. Mission Impossible was originally set in Chuck Norris’s house.
22. Chuck Norris can divide by zero.
23. Chuck Norris only once took a dump...that dump is known as Mt. Everest.
24. Chuck Norris never retreats; He just attacks in the opposite direction.
25. Chuck Norris once visited the Virgin Islands. They are now The Islands.
26. Chuck Norris has a grizzly bear carpet in his room. The bear isn’t dead, it is just afraid to move.
27. Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris.
28. Chuck Norris does not own a house. He walks into random houses and people move.
29. Chuck Norris can crack a walnut with his eyelids.
30. Chuck Norris can clap with one hand.
31. Chuck Norris makes onions cry.
32. Chuck Norris has a diary, it is called the Guinness Book Of World Records.
33. You might say Chuck Norris can't act, but he might not let you say anything else ever.
34. The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.
35. Chuck Norris can start a fire with an ice cube.
36. When Chuck Norris was born, he slapped the midwife and made HER cry.
37. The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Chuck Norris out. It failed miserably.
38. Chuck Norris is the only person on the planet that can kick you in the back of the face.
39. If, by some incredible space-time paradox, Chuck Norris would ever fight himself, he'd win. Period.
40. Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. Its descendants today are known as giraffes.
41. Bigfoot is still hiding because he once saw Chuck Norris walking in the mountains.
42. Chuck Norris doesn’t breathe, he holds air hostage.
43. The crossing lights in Chuck Norris' home town say 'Die slowly' and 'Die quickly'. They each have a picture of Chuck Norris punching or kicking a pedestrian.
44. Bigfoot is still hiding because he once saw Chuck Norris walking in the mountains.
45. Chuck Norris is the only man who can fight himself and win. Everytime.
46. Aliens are real. They are just hiding from Chuck Norris.
47. Chuck Noris had once kicked a giraffe into the mouth of a snake. Since then we call the snake - Brontosaurus.
48. Chuck Norris can clap with one hand.
49. When Chuck Norris was born, the only person who cried was the doctor. Never slap Chuck Norris.
50. Chuck Norris beat the sun in a staring contest.
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