Top 50 Dad Jokes

Welcome to the top 50 dad jokes.

The Top 50 Dad Jokes List

These are the top 50 Dad Jokes for 2024.

1. Dogs can't operate MRI machines. But catscan.
2. Why was the belt arrested? For holding up a pair of pants.
3. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
4. I asked my date to meet me at the gym but she never showed up. I guess the two of us aren't going to work out.
5. Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything.
6. What's orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot!
7. Justice is a dish best served cold. Otherwise, it's just water.
8. Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two-tired.
9. Why did the scarecrow win an award? He was out standing in his field.
10. What's brown and sticky? A stick.
11. Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? The P is silent.
12. How do you talk to a giant? You use big words!
13. What did one ocean say to the other ocean? Nothing, they just waved.
14. Do you know how many people are dead at a cemetery? All of them.
15. What do you call two octopuses that look the same? Itenticle.
16. I thought about going on an all-almond diet��¦ But that's just nuts!
17. What do you call a fibbing cat? A lion.
18. Why did two tall people get along so well? The could really see eye to eye.
19. What does Rockin' Robin do when she's bored? Tweet.
20. Why did the invisible man turn down the job offer? He couldn't see himself doing it.
21. What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Nacho cheese!
22. How can you tell it's a dogwood tree? By the bark.
23. What is a snowman tantrum called? A meltdown.
24. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
25. Why was the burglar overly sensitive? He took things personally.
26. What does a nosey pepper do? It gets jalape�o business.
27. What did the banana say to the boy? Nothing, bananas can't talk!
28. What do lions use to look at their manes? Mirroars.
29. I have a joke about chemistry, but I don't think it will get a reaction.
30. Why don't skeletons fight each other? They don't have the guts.
31. If two vegetarians get in an argument, is it still called beef?
32. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was the best in his field.
33. What's the best thing about Switzerland? I don't know, but the flag is a big plus.
34. Why was the color green notoriously single? It was always so jaded.
35. What building has the most stories? A library.
36. What did the drummer call his twin daughters? Anna One, Anna Two!
37. Why did the math book look sad? Because it had too many problems.
38. Why don't eggs tell jokes? They'd crack each other up.
39. Whenever I try to eat healthy, a chocolate bar looks at me and Snickers.
40. Last night I had a dream that I weighed less than a thousandth of a gram. I was like, 0mg.
41. What do you call a fish wearing a bowtie? Sofishticated.
42. What did the dad say when his golden retriever was caught eating a hot dog? It's a dog eat dog world out there.
43. When does a joke become a dad joke? When it becomes apparent.
44. What do you call a man with no arms or legs in the middle of the ocean? Bob.
45. What's another name for a sad cup of coffee? Depresso.
46. Who has been spreading rumors? Butter.
47. What do lions use to look at their manes? Mirroars.
48. I'd avoid the sushi if I were you. It's a little fishy!
49. What's the best thing about Switzerland? I don't know, but the flag is a big plus.
50. Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one.

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