Top 50 Dad Jokes

Welcome to the top 50 dad jokes.

The Top 50 Dad Jokes List

These are the top 50 Dad Jokes for 2024.

1. What do you call a factory that sells passable products? A satisfactory!
2. A guy walks into a bar...and he was disqualified from the limbo contest.
3. Good thymes.
4. What do you call a pencil with two erasers? Pointless.
5. Why do pumpkins sit on porches? They have no hands to knock on the door.
6. A ham sandwich walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender says, "Sorry we don't serve food here."
7. Dad, can you put the cat out? I didn't know it was on fire.
8. What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta.
9. The first thing Santa's elves learn in school is their elf-abet.
10. Cooking out this weekend? Don't forget the pickle. It's kind of a big dill.
11. Why was the stadium so hot after the game? Because all the fans left.
12. What's a writer's favorite train station? Penn Station.
13. Why was the coach yelling at a vending machine? He wanted his quarter back.
14. I'm reading an anti-gravity book. I can't put it down!
15. I don't really call for funerals that start before noon. I guess I'm just not a mourning person!
16. Why did the picture go to jail? Because it was framed.
17. How do you talk to a giant? You use big words!
18. How do you make an octopus laugh? With ten-tickles!
19. Most people can't tell the difference between entomology and etymology. I can't find the words for how much this bugs me.
20. What do you call a toothless bear? A gummy bear!
21. Where do fruits go on vacation? Pear-is!
22. How do you make a tissue dance? You put a little boogie in it.
23. I'm worried for the calendar because its days are numbered.
24. How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Ten tickles.
25. A friend of mine doesn't pay his exorcist. He got repossessed.
26. My boss told me to have a good day, so I went home.
27. Did you hear about the guy who invented the knock-knock joke? He won the 'no-bell' prize.
28. The rotation of earth really makes my day.
29. Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself? It was two tired.
30. 20 years ago we had Johnny Cash, Bob Hope, and Steve Jobs. Now we have no cash, no hope, and no jobs.
31. What do you call a man with a rubber toe? Roberto.
32. My boss told me to have a good day, so I went home.
33. What's brown and sticky? A stick.
34. What did the caretaker say when they jumped out of the store cupboard? “Supplies!”
35. What do you call two octopuses that look the same? Itenticle.
36. Why do peppers make such good archers? Because they habanero.
37. What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta.
38. Why would doors do well on social media? Everyone looks for their handles.
39. What do you call a toothless bear? A gummy bear!
40. Want to hear a joke about construction? I'm still working on it!
41. I have a joke about drilling, but it's boring.
42. After an unsuccessful harvest, why did the farmer decide to try a career in music? Because he had a ton of sick beets.
43. Which state has the most streets? Rhode Island.
44. Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself? It was two-tired.
45. I have a joke about drilling, but it's boring.
46. What did the ocean say to the beach?' Nothing, it just waved.
47. What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Nacho cheese.
48. Dear Math, grow up and solve your own problems.
49. Why can't a nose be 12 inches long? Because then it would be a foot.
50. What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta.

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