Top 50 It Jokes

Welcome to the top 50 it jokes.

The Top 50 It Jokes List

These are the top 50 It Jokes for 2025.

1. Why do programmers prefer dark mode? Because light attracts bugs!
2. God as a Programmer
3. Top 10 phrases spoken by a Klingon Programmer A TRUE Klingon Warrior does not comment his code! By filing this bug report you have challenged the honor of my family. Prepare to die! You question the worthiness of my code? I should kill you where you stand! Our competitors are without honor! Specifications are for the weak and timid! This machine is GAGH! I need dual Pentium processors if I am to do battle with this code! Perhaps it IS a good day to die! I say we ship it! Our users will know fear and cower before our software! Ship it! Ship it and let them flee like the dogs they are! My program has just dumped Stova Core! Behold, the keyboard of Kalis! The greatest Klingon code warrior that ever lived!
4. When is a door not a door? When it's a GenericStaticFurnitureBase
5. Why did the Lisp programmer get a new car? He ran out of storage space
6. The computer is mightier than the pen, the sword, and usually, the programmer.
7. Why do programmers prefer dark mode? Because light attracts bugs!
8. Why do the stories written by C programmers drag on forever? Because they can't write closures.
9. God as a Programmer
10. Why do programmers prefer dark mode? Because light attracts bugs!
11. Why did the Lisp programmer get a new car? He ran out of storage space
12. Why did the Lisp programmer get a new car? He ran out of storage space
13. Why do programmers prefer dark mode? Because light attracts bugs!
14. Your mama's so FAT she can't save files bigger than 4GB.
15. A biologist, a statistician, a mathematician and a computer scientist are on a photo-safari in Africa. They drive out into the savannah in their jeep, stop and scour the horizon with their binoculars. The biologist: "Look! There's a herd of zebras! And there, in the middle: a white zebra! It's fantastic! There are white zebras! We'll be famous!" The statistician: "It's not significant. We only know there's one white zebra" The mathematician: "Actually, we know there exists a zebra which is white on one side" The computer scientist: "Oh no! A special case!"
16. The three most dangerous things in the world are a programmer with a soldering iron, a hardware engineer with a software patch, and a user with an idea. – The Wizardry Compiled by Rick Cook.
17. A man flying in a hot air balloon suddenly realizes he's lost. He reduces height and spots a man down below. He lowers the balloon further and shouts to get directions, "Excuse me, can you tell me where I am?" The man below says: "Yes. You're in a hot air balloon, hovering 30 feet above this field." "You must work in Information Technology," says the balloonist. "I do" replies the man. "How did you know?" "Well," says the balloonist, "everything you have told me is technically correct, but It's of no use to anyone." The man below replies, "You must work in management." "I do," replies the balloonist, "But how'd you know?"* "Well", says the man, "you don't know where you are or where you're going, but you expect me to be able to help. You're in the same position you were before we met, but now it's my fault."
18. Q. How did the programmer die in the shower? A. He read the shampoo bottle instructions: Lather. Rinse. Repeat.
19. Being the detective in a crime movie where you are also the murderer.
20. Why do programmers prefer dark mode? Because light attracts bugs!
21. A programmer puts two glasses on his bedside table before going to sleep. A full one, in case he gets thirsty, and an empty one, in case he doesn't.
22. Why do programmers prefer dark mode? Because light attracts bugs!
23. Why do programmers always mix up Halloween and Christmas? Because Oct 31 equals Dec 25.
24. The three most dangerous things in the world are a programmer with a soldering iron, a hardware engineer with a software patch, and a user with an idea. – The Wizardry Compiled by Rick Cook.
25. OK guys. Any idea how to make women more interested in us? C++: More exceptions? Python: Define our methods? ANSI-C: Stop treating them like objects?
26. Why do programmers hate nature? It has too many bugs.
27. A programmer puts two glasses on his bedside table before going to sleep. A full one, in case he gets thirsty, and an empty one, in case he doesn't.
28. Laws of Computer Programming Any given program, when running, is obsolete. Any given program costs more and takes longer. If a program is useful, it will have to be changed. If a program is useless, it will have to be documented. Any program will expand to fill available memory. The value of a program is proportional to the weight of its output. Program complexity grows until it exceeds the capabilities of the programmer who must maintain it. Any non-trivial program contains at least one bug. Undetectable errors are infinite in variety, in contrast to detectable errors, which by definition are limited. Adding manpower to a late software project makes it later.
29. Why do programmers prefer dark mode? Because light attracts bugs!
30. Hey! That's private OK ? The man hesitated for a second looking confused. Man: But I thought we were in the same class.
31. A programmer puts two glasses on his bedside table before going to sleep. A full one, in case he gets thirsty, and an empty one, in case he doesn't.
32. A biologist, a statistician, a mathematician and a computer scientist are on a photo-safari in Africa. They drive out into the savannah in their jeep, stop and scour the horizon with their binoculars. The biologist: "Look! There's a herd of zebras! And there, in the middle: a white zebra! It's fantastic! There are white zebras! We'll be famous!" The statistician: "It's not significant. We only know there's one white zebra" The mathematician: "Actually, we know there exists a zebra which is white on one side" The computer scientist: "Oh no! A special case!"
33. A programmer is walking along a beach and finds a lamp. He rubs the lamp, and a genie appears. "I am the most powerful genie in the world. I can grant you any wish, but only one wish." The programmer pulls out a map, points to it and says, "I'd want peace in the Middle East." The genie responds, "Gee, I don't know. Those people have been fighting for millennia. I can do just about anything, but this is likely beyond my limits." The programmer then says, "Well, I am a programmer, and my programs have lots of users. Please make all my users satisfied with my software and let them ask for sensible changes." At which point the genie responds, "Um, let me see that map again."
34. A programmer puts two glasses on his bedside table before going to sleep. A full one, in case he gets thirsty, and an empty one, in case he doesn't.
35. Why do programmers prefer dark mode? Because light attracts bugs!
36. Why do programmers prefer dark mode? Because light attracts bugs!
37. Have you heard about the new Cray super computer? It's so fast, it executes an infinite loop in 6 seconds.
38. Computer Stupidities
39. How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb? None – It's a hardware problem
40. Why did the Lisp programmer get a new car? He ran out of storage space
41. The programmer compiled an array of reasons as to why he can't find a girlfriend with a good on her , reason 0 being that he has limited cache. So he searches his memory to recall connecting to the TCP/IP tunnel of his last girlfriend — sometimes even without a secure socket. His last girlfriend always complained about his lack of comments. He fumed, "I hate commenting!" Realizing it was a program requirement, he told her she had nice bits. This resulted in a Syntax Error. Now she demanded a massage, but this was rejected as "Feature Creep." He smacked her back-end and shouted, "Who's your parent node?!" He scanned for open ports. He attempted to install a backdoor worm but her response was 403. While his data uploaded into her input device, she considered terminating the process. But instead she initiated a Do While loop where she recalled a previous boyfriend with a larger pointer. To expedite the routine routine, she screamed, "Hack into my system! Hack deep into my system! You're 1337, baby!" This caused his stack to overflow, and he shot his GUI on her interface. (Source)
42. A programmer walks to the butcher shop and buys a kilo of meat. An hour later he comes back upset that the butcher shortchanged him by 24 grams.
43. Top 10 phrases spoken by a Klingon Programmer A TRUE Klingon Warrior does not comment his code! By filing this bug report you have challenged the honor of my family. Prepare to die! You question the worthiness of my code? I should kill you where you stand! Our competitors are without honor! Specifications are for the weak and timid! This machine is GAGH! I need dual Pentium processors if I am to do battle with this code! Perhaps it IS a good day to die! I say we ship it! Our users will know fear and cower before our software! Ship it! Ship it and let them flee like the dogs they are! My program has just dumped Stova Core! Behold, the keyboard of Kalis! The greatest Klingon code warrior that ever lived!
44. Why do programmers prefer dark mode? Because light attracts bugs!
45. Eight bytes walk into a bar. The bartender asks, "Can I get you anything?" "Yeah," reply the bytes. "Make us a double."
46. A man flying in a hot air balloon suddenly realizes he's lost. He reduces height and spots a man down below. He lowers the balloon further and shouts to get directions, "Excuse me, can you tell me where I am?" The man below says: "Yes. You're in a hot air balloon, hovering 30 feet above this field." "You must work in Information Technology," says the balloonist. "I do" replies the man. "How did you know?" "Well," says the balloonist, "everything you have told me is technically correct, but It's of no use to anyone." The man below replies, "You must work in management." "I do," replies the balloonist, "But how'd you know?"* "Well", says the man, "you don't know where you are or where you're going, but you expect me to be able to help. You're in the same position you were before we met, but now it's my fault."
47. A programmer finds himself in front of a committee that decides whether he should go to Heaven or Hell. The committee tells the programmer he has a say in the matter and asks him if he wants to see either Heaven or Hell before stating his preference. "Sure," the programmer replies. "I have a pretty good idea what Heaven is like, so let's see Hell." So an angel takes the programmer to a sunny beach, full of beautiful women in skimpy bikinis playing volleyball, listening to music and having a great time. "Wow!" he exclaims, "Hell looks great! I'll take Hell!" Instantly the programmer finds himself in red-hot lava with demons tearing at his flesh. "Where's the beach? The music? The women?" he screams frantically to the angel. "That was the demo," the angel replies as she vanishes.
48. A programmer puts two glasses on his bedside table before going to sleep. A full one, in case he gets thirsty, and an empty one, in case he doesn't.
49. A guy walks into a bar and asks for 1.4 root beers. The bartender says "I'll have to charge you extra, that's a root beer float". The guy says "In that case, better make it a double."
50. A programmer finds himself in front of a committee that decides whether he should go to Heaven or Hell. The committee tells the programmer he has a say in the matter and asks him if he wants to see either Heaven or Hell before stating his preference. "Sure," the programmer replies. "I have a pretty good idea what Heaven is like, so let's see Hell." So an angel takes the programmer to a sunny beach, full of beautiful women in skimpy bikinis playing volleyball, listening to music and having a great time. "Wow!" he exclaims, "Hell looks great! I'll take Hell!" Instantly the programmer finds himself in red-hot lava with demons tearing at his flesh. "Where's the beach? The music? The women?" he screams frantically to the angel. "That was the demo," the angel replies as she vanishes.

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