Top 50 Jokes

Welcome to the top 50 jokes.

The Top 50 Jokes List

These are the top 50 Jokes for 2024.

1. Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one!
2. What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator!
3. Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because it felt crummy!
4. Why did the math book look sad? Because it had too many problems!
5. Why did the scarecrow become a successful neurosurgeon? He was outstanding in his field!
6. Did you hear about the kidnapping at the park? They woke up!
7. What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator!
8. How does a penguin make pancakes? With its flippers!
9. How do you make holy water? You boil the hell out of it!
10. What did one plate say to the other plate? Tonight, dinner's on me!
11. Why did the scarecrow become a successful neurosurgeon? He was outstanding in his field!
12. Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field!
13. What do you get from a pampered cow? Spoiled milk!
14. How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together!
15. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!
16. Why did the scarecrow become a successful neurosurgeon? He was outstanding in his field!
17. Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems.
18. Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged!
19. How did the astronaut serve their coffee? In flying saucers!
20. Why don't skeletons fight each other? They don't have the guts!
21. What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire? Frostbite!
22. What's gray, disappointing, and in the shape of an oval?


23. How many I.T. guys does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

none. That's a hardware problem but have you tried turning it on and off again?
24. Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged!
25. What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta!
26. What do you call fake spaghetti? An impasta!
27. Sorry, I don't have any jokes outside of the provided list.
28. What do you get if you cross a cat with a dark horse? Kitty Perry.
29. Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!
30. Three men die and go to heaven.

At the pearly gates, St. Peter tells them that he will ask each of them a question and that their answer will determine how they will get around in heaven.He asks the first man, “Have you ever cheated on your wife?” The man answers, “No, never!” St. Peter says, “Good man, I will give you a Ferrari for your loyalty.”St. Peter then asks the second man, “Have you ever cheated on your wife?” The man answers, “I did once and regret it to this day!” St. Peter says, “I hear your regret. Take this Honda Civic.”St. Peter then asks the third man, “Have you ever cheated on your wife?” The man answers, “Many times. What can I say, I just love women!” St. Peter says, “You are honest. Take this scooter. At least you won’t have to walk.”So the third man is riding around on his scooter when he sees the first man’s Ferrari pulled over to the side of the road. He sees the man, crying, and asks, “What’s wrong?”The first man replies, “I just saw my wife on a bicycle.”
31. Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!
32. Did you hear about the claustrophobic astronaut? He just needed a little space!
33. Why don't skeletons fight each other? They don't have the guts!
34. Why don't skeletons fight each other? They don't have the guts!
35. What do you call a fish wearing a crown? Shellfish.
36. How does a penguin make pancakes? With its flippers!
37. What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator!
38. What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear!
39. Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one!
40. Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems.
41. Why did the condom fly around the room?

It was pissed off.
42. How do you make holy water? You boil the hell out of it!
43. How do you communicate with a fish? Drop it a line!
44. What did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged!
45. Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!
46. How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together!
47. How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together!
48. "What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire? Frostbite!"
49. What did one ocean say to the other ocean? Nothing, they just waved.
50. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!

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