Top 50 Marriage Jokes

Welcome to the top 50 marriage jokes.

The Top 50 Marriage Jokes List

These are the top 50 Marriage Jokes for 2024.

1. Why did the married couple go to the seafood restaurant? They heard it was a great plaice for a date!
2. I asked my wife if she ever fantasizes about me. She said yes, about me taking out the trash, mowing the lawn, and doing the dishes.
3. My wife told me to stop acting like a flamingo, so I had to put my foot down.
4. I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.
5. Marriage is all about compromise. I’ll make the coffee, and you can decide how you want it—cold or burnt!
6. Why did the husband bring a ladder to the wedding? Because he heard the cake was going to be tiered!
7. Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything, just like a marriage.
8. Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything, just like a marriage.
9. Marriage is all about compromise. I’ll make the coffee, and you can decide how you want it—cold or burnt!
10. I asked my wife if she ever fantasizes about me. She said yes, about me taking out the trash, mowing the lawn, and doing the dishes.
11. Why did the man put his money in the blender? He wanted to make liquid assets for his divorce.
12. I asked my wife if she ever fantasizes about me. She said yes, about me taking out the trash, mowing the lawn, and doing the dishes.
13. Why did the couple bring a ladder to their marriage? Because they heard the wedding vows were a high commitment!
14. "Why did the man put his money in the blender? He wanted to make liquid assets for his divorce."
15. A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.
16. Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything, just like a marriage.
17. A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.
18. Marriage is all about compromise. I’ll make the coffee, and you can decide how you want it—cold or burnt!
19. Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband.
20. Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything, just like a marriage.
21. Why do married people live longer? Because they can't argue with their spouse if they're dead!
22. Why did the married couple go to the seafood restaurant? They heard it was a great plaice for a date!
23. Why did the bride always carry a pencil on her wedding day? Because she wanted to draw a happy marriage!
24. Why did the man put his money in the blender? He wanted to make liquid assets for his divorce.
25. My wife told me to stop acting like a flamingo, so I had to put my foot down.
26. Why did the married couple go to the seafood restaurant? They heard it was a great plaice for a date!
27. Marriage is all about compromise. I’ll make the coffee, and you can decide how you want it—cold or burnt!
28. A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.
29. I asked my wife if she ever fantasizes about me. She said yes, about me taking out the trash, mowing the lawn, and doing the dishes.
30. Why did the husband bring a ladder to the wedding? Because he heard the cake was going to be tiered!
31. My wife told me to stop acting like a flamingo, so I had to put my foot down.
32. I asked my wife if she ever fantasizes about me. She said yes, about me taking out the trash, mowing the lawn, and doing the dishes.
33. Why did the married couple go to the seafood restaurant? They heard it was a great plaice for a date!
34. Why did the married man bring a ladder to the bar? Because he heard the drinks were on the house!
35. Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything, just like a marriage.
36. Getting married is like going to a restaurant with friends. Everyone orders what they want, but when the bill comes, you all have to split it evenly.
37. Why do married people live longer? Because they can’t argue with their spouse if they’re dead!
38. Why did the couple bring a ladder to their marriage? Because they heard the wedding vows were a high commitment!
39. Why did the couple bring a ladder to their marriage? Because they heard the wedding vows were a high commitment!
40. Why do married people live longer? Because they can't argue with their spouse if they're dead!
41. Why did the married man bring a ladder to the bar? Because he heard the drinks were on the house!
42. My wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo. I had to put my foot down.
43. Marriage is all about compromise. I’ll make the coffee, and you can decide how you want it—cold or burnt!
44. Why did the man put his money in the blender? He wanted to make liquid assets for his divorce.
45. Why do married people live longer? Because they can’t argue with their spouse if they’re dead!
46. Why do married people live longer? Because they can't argue with their spouse if they're dead!
47. Why did the man put his money in the blender? He wanted to make liquid assets for his divorce.
48. A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.
49. Why did the couple bring a ladder to their marriage? Because they heard the wedding vows were a high commitment!
50. A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.

Generator more Marriage Jokes

Need more Marriage Jokes? Generate more with the Marriage Joke Generator.