Top 50 Marriage Jokes

Welcome to the top 50 marriage jokes.

The Top 50 Marriage Jokes List

These are the top 50 Marriage Jokes for 2025.

1. Why do married people live longer? Because they can't argue with their spouse if they're dead!
2. I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug!
3. I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.
4. I asked my wife if she ever fantasizes about me. She said yes, about me taking out the trash, mowing the lawn, and doing the dishes.
5. How do you know when you've found your soulmate? When they understand your need for sleep more than they understand your need for conversation.
6. Why did the couple bring a ladder to their marriage? Because they heard the wedding vows were a high commitment!
7. "Why did the man put his money in the blender? He wanted to make liquid assets for his divorce."
8. A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.
9. Why did the couple bring a ladder to their marriage? Because they heard the wedding vows were a high commitment!
10. Why did the bride always carry a pencil on her wedding day? Because she wanted to draw a happy marriage!
11. Why did the man put his money in the blender? He wanted to make liquid assets for his divorce.
12. "Why did the man put his money in the blender? He wanted to make liquid assets for his divorce."
13. I asked my wife if she ever fantasizes about me. She said yes, about me taking out the trash, mowing the lawn, and doing the dishes.
14. My wife told me to stop acting like a flamingo, so I had to put my foot down.
15. "Why did the man put his money in the blender? He wanted to make liquid assets for his divorce."
16. Getting married is like going to a restaurant with friends. Everyone orders what they want, but when the bill comes, you all have to split it evenly.
17. A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.
18. Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything, just like a marriage.
19. "Why did the man put his money in the blender? He wanted to make liquid assets for his divorce."
20. Why did the couple bring a ladder to their marriage? Because they heard the wedding vows were a high commitment!
21. I asked my wife if she ever fantasizes about me. She said yes, about me taking out the trash, mowing the lawn, and doing the dishes.
22. Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything, just like a marriage.
23. A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.
24. I asked my wife if she ever fantasizes about me. She said yes, about me taking out the trash, mowing the lawn, and doing the dishes.
25. Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything, just like a marriage.
26. Why did the married couple go to the seafood restaurant? They heard it was a great plaice for a date!
27. How do you know when you've found your soulmate? When they understand your need for sleep more than they understand your need for conversation.
28. Why did the man put his money in the blender? He wanted to make liquid assets for his divorce.
29. I asked my wife if she ever fantasizes about me. She said yes, about me taking out the trash, mowing the lawn, and doing the dishes.
30. My wife told me to stop acting like a flamingo, so I had to put my foot down.
31. A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.
32. I asked my wife if she ever fantasizes about me. She said yes, about me taking out the trash, mowing the lawn, and doing the dishes.
33. Marriage is all about compromise. I’ll make the coffee, and you can decide how you want it—cold or burnt!
34. Why did the couple bring a ladder to their marriage? Because they heard the wedding vows were a high commitment!
35. I asked my wife if she ever fantasizes about me. She said yes, about me taking out the trash, mowing the lawn, and doing the dishes.
36. A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.
37. "Why did the man put his money in the blender? He wanted to make liquid assets for his divorce."
38. Marriage is like a deck of cards. In the beginning, all you need is two hearts and a diamond. By the end, you’re looking for a club and a spade.
39. Marriage is all about compromise. I’ll make the coffee, and you can decide how you want it—cold or burnt!
40. A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.
41. A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.
42. Why did the husband bring a ladder to the wedding? Because he heard the cake was going to be tiered!
43. Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband.
44. My wife told me to stop acting like a flamingo, so I had to put my foot down.
45. Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything, just like a marriage.
46. My wife told me to stop acting like a flamingo, so I had to put my foot down.
47. My wife told me to stop acting like a flamingo, so I had to put my foot down.
48. Marriage is like a deck of cards. In the beginning, all you need is two hearts and a diamond. By the end, you’re looking for a club and a spade.
49. Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband.
50. "Why did the man put his money in the blender? He wanted to make liquid assets for his divorce."

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