Top 50 Marriage Jokes

Welcome to the top 50 marriage jokes.

The Top 50 Marriage Jokes List

These are the top 50 Marriage Jokes for 2024.

1. "Why did the man put his money in the blender? He wanted to make liquid assets for his divorce."
2. Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband.
3. I asked my wife if she ever fantasizes about me. She said yes, about me taking out the trash, mowing the lawn, and doing the dishes.
4. Marriage is all about compromise. I’ll make the coffee, and you can decide how you want it—cold or burnt!
5. A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.
6. I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.
7. Why did the married couple go to the seafood restaurant? They heard it was a great plaice for a date!
8. Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything, just like a marriage.
9. Why did the husband bring a ladder to the wedding? Because he heard the cake was going to be tiered!
10. My wife told me to stop acting like a flamingo, so I had to put my foot down.
11. I asked my wife if she ever fantasizes about me. She said yes, about me taking out the trash, mowing the lawn, and doing the dishes.
12. Love is like a fart. If you have to force it, it’s probably crap.
13. I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.
14. Why did the man put his money in the blender? He wanted to make liquid assets for his divorce.
15. My wife told me to stop acting like a flamingo, so I had to put my foot down.
16. I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.
17. "Why did the man put his money in the blender? He wanted to make liquid assets for his divorce."
18. Why did the married man bring a ladder to the bar? Because he heard the drinks were on the house!
19. Why did the man put his money in the blender? He wanted to make liquid assets for his divorce.
20. My wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo. I had to put my foot down.
21. My wife told me to stop acting like a flamingo, so I had to put my foot down.
22. Why did the man put his money in the blender? He wanted to make liquid assets for his divorce.
23. A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.
24. My wife told me to stop acting like a flamingo, so I had to put my foot down.
25. I asked my wife if she ever fantasizes about me. She said yes, about me taking out the trash, mowing the lawn, and doing the dishes.
26. Why do married people live longer? Because they can't argue with their spouse if they're dead!
27. Why did the man put his money in the blender? He wanted to make liquid assets for his divorce.
28. Marriage is all about compromise. I’ll make the coffee, and you can decide how you want it—cold or burnt!
29. A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.
30. A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.
31. A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.
32. Why did the bride always carry a pencil on her wedding day? Because she wanted to draw a happy marriage!
33. Getting married is like going to a restaurant with friends. Everyone orders what they want, but when the bill comes, you all have to split it evenly.
34. "Why did the man put his money in the blender? He wanted to make liquid assets for his divorce."
35. Why did the married man bring a ladder to the bar? Because he heard the drinks were on the house!
36. Why did the married couple go to the seafood restaurant? They heard it was a great plaice for a date!
37. Getting married is like going to a restaurant with friends. Everyone orders what they want, but when the bill comes, you all have to split it evenly.
38. How do you know when you've found your soulmate? When they understand your need for sleep more than they understand your need for conversation.
39. Marriage is all about compromise. Like learning to say you're sorry when you know you're right.
40. I asked my wife if she ever fantasizes about me. She said yes, about me taking out the trash, mowing the lawn, and doing the dishes.
41. Why did the man put his money in the blender? He wanted to make liquid assets for his divorce.
42. Getting married is like going to a restaurant with friends. Everyone orders what they want, but when the bill comes, you all have to split it evenly.
43. "Why did the married couple go to the seafood restaurant? They heard it was a great plaice for a date!"
44. Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband.
45. Why did the man put his money in the blender? He wanted to make liquid assets for his divorce.
46. My wife told me to stop acting like a flamingo, so I had to put my foot down.
47. Marriage is all about compromise. Like learning to say you're sorry when you know you're right.
48. "Why did the man put his money in the blender? He wanted to make liquid assets for his divorce."
49. I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug!
50. How do you know when you've found your soulmate? When they understand your need for sleep more than they understand your need for conversation.

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