Top 50 Uncle Jokes

Welcome to the top 50 uncle jokes. .

The Top 50 Uncle Jokes List

These are the top 50 Uncle Jokes for 2024.

1. Why don�t oysters donate to charity? Because they�re shellfish�and they�ve got a pearl of a secret they�re hiding.
2. What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator�and he�s got a few skeletons in his swamp.
3. How do you make a hormone? Don�t pay her.
4. What�s orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot�unless it�s been marinated in something stronger.
5. What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear�and he�s sweeter than your last Tinder date.
6. Why did the belt go to jail? It held up a pair of pants and took things too far.
7. What�s the best part about gardening? Getting down and dirty with your hoes.
8. What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh�and it still can�t see that you�re the catch of the day.
9. Why did the stadium get hot? All the fans left�and the players started scoring in the locker room.
10. Why did the belt go to jail? It held up a pair of pants and took things too far.
11. What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear�and he�s sweeter than your last Tinder date.
12. What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear�and he�s sweeter than your last Tinder date.
13. Why don�t skeletons fight each other? Because they don�t have the guts�and they�re too busy chilling in the closet with your uncle�s secrets.
14. What�s the difference between a piano and a fish? You can�t tuna fish�but you can definitely tune out that noise in the bedroom.
15. Why don�t you play hide and seek with mountains? Because they always peak�and they�ve got a rock-hard alibi.
16. Why did the man put his money in the blender? He wanted to make some liquid assets�and ended up with a smoothie that tastes like bad investments.
17. Why did the chicken join a band? Because it had the drumsticks�and it was tired of being cooped up.
18. What�s the best part about gardening? Getting down and dirty with your hoes.
19. What�s the difference between a G-spot and a golf ball? A guy will actually search for a golf ball.
20. Why don�t some couples go to the gym? Because they�re getting their workout in between the sheets.
21. Why don�t you play cards in the jungle? Too many cheetahs�and they�re all dealing from the bottom of the deck.
22. Why don�t some couples go to the gym? Because they�re getting their workout in between the sheets.
23. What do you call a cheap circumcision? A rip-off.
24. Why did the banana go to the doctor? Because it wasn�t peeling well�and things were getting a little too ripe in the bedroom.
25. Why did the man put his money in the blender? He wanted to make some liquid assets�and ended up with a smoothie that tastes like bad investments.
26. Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one�and needed a clean pair after celebrating with the cart girl.
27. What�s the best part about gardening? Getting down and dirty with your hoes.
28. Why don�t melons get married? Because they cantaloupe�and they�re too busy hooking up in the produce aisle.
29. Why did the coffee run away? It needed a break from being ground down every morning
30. Why don�t some couples go to the gym? Because they�re getting their workout in between the sheets.
31. Why don�t oysters donate to charity? Because they�re shellfish�and they�ve got a pearl of a secret they�re hiding.
32. What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman.
33. Why was the computer cold? It left its Windows open�and caught a virus that even Norton couldn�t handle.
34. What�s the best part about gardening? Getting down and dirty with your hoes.
35. What do you call a cheap circumcision? A rip-off.
36. Why don�t oysters donate to charity? Because they�re shellfish�and they�ve got a pearl of a secret they�re hiding.
37. Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems�and none of them were solved in bed.
38. Why don�t eggs tell jokes? Because they crack up too easily�and they�ve got a reputation to uphold in the fridge.
39. Why did the stadium get hot? All the fans left�and the players started scoring in the locker room.
40. What�s the difference between a piano and a fish? You can�t tuna fish�but you can definitely tune out that noise in the bedroom.
41. Why did the stadium get hot? All the fans left�and the players started scoring in the locker room.
42. What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman.
43. What�s the difference between a G-spot and a golf ball? A guy will actually search for a golf ball.
44. Why don�t some couples go to the gym? Because they�re getting their workout in between the sheets.
45. Why did the scarecrow become a successful politician? He was outstanding in his field�and he knew how to keep his hands clean.
46. Why don�t some people eat clocks? Because it�s too time-consuming�and it�s not the kind of oral fixation they�re into.
47. Why don�t eggs tell jokes? Because they crack up too easily�and they�ve got a reputation to uphold in the fridge.
48. Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems�and none of them were solved in bed.
49. Why did the man put his money in the blender? He wanted to make some liquid assets�and ended up with a smoothie that tastes like bad investments.
50. Why did the scarecrow become a successful politician? Because he was outstanding in his field�and he knew how to keep the skeletons buried.

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