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Top 10 Dylan Moran Quotes

This is a list of the top 10 Dylan Moran Quotes for 2024.

"I fear we might be losing the basic human facility to be alone - and with that you throw out independent decision-making, what to trust, what not to trust, key stuff, a perilous loss." - Dylan Moran

""Listen, LISTEN... I agree... with everything... you're carving... on the kitchen table, I do. But do you think maybe this might have something to do with your per-ARGH!"(falls backward as if kicked). That first high kick to the thorax generally does the trick." (Talking with women about their periods) - Dylan Moran

(From Black Books, co-written by Graham Linehan) Fran: I want Manny in on this. Manny! Bernard: No, don't. He's no use to anyone. He stayed up all night with his birthday presents. A complete set of The Sweeney and an espresso machine. - Dylan Moran

"The ultimate human shopping list: I'd like some illegal, some forbidden, some frowned upon and some downright disgusting, please. I'll have that to go, thank you!" - Dylan Moran

"The dark creates all kinds of things. The dark creates music, particular kinds of music. Horrible folk music you don't want to listen to. And heavy metal which they love in dark places. They love it in Scandinavia. They have all these metal bands, you know? And they're not like the English ones or American ones that have names like Metallica and Megadeth and so on. The names are... 'Cause English isn't their first language in Scandinavia even though they all speak it. So they call their bands things like Anus Hammer, Egg Smuggler, all that stuff. lt's a very interesting look, heavy metal, you know... You have everything down here. You've got jazz and ska and everything, you know. Whatever, folk music, too, probably. Folk music has its own look. lt has a... You know, people wear dungarees 'cause they say, "l'm a man or a woman of the people. This isn't my main thing, you know. l'm just like you really. My main job is harvesting turnips. Anyway, this next number is called Cross-eyed Mary of the Lowlands. l'd like to dedicate it to my wife." And then there's jazz, you know, where you get people in suits but they're non-conformist suits 'cause they're wearing a pink shirt with a green jacket and a blue tie and trousers too complex to describe. 'Cause they're saying, "Yes, l'm wearing a suit but l work for me. And my job is to play the electrified tractor horn till 5:00 in the morning, so fuck you." Heavy metal is a very interesting look. The look is a kind of an argument. lt's an argument against Darwinism. Because what the people who are involved are saying, is that attraction is not necessary for reproduction. That's why they shave all the hair off where it would naturally be and cultivate it in places it shouldn't be. And that's why the music is so angry. You know, if you shave all the hair off your arse and get into a pair of leather trousers, you're gonna sing an angry song. lt's not gonna be some wistful ballad about that crazy summer in Paris with Justine. lt's going to be much more, "Death in the morning, death for breakfast. Little pots of toasted death." Heavy metal is what happens when a group of people with competitively disgusting appearances come together to try to kill air. No, partly... Partly, that is probably age speaking. l just can't tolerate certain things, you know." - Dylan Moran

ON INTERVIEWS IN GENERAL: "An interview is a strange conversation because it's not a conversation, it's something that's between levels. It's staged conversation about prearranged topics between two people who have never met, which is a sketch in itself. "At this stage I don't mind. It's a strange thing to do. Some people want to know just about the film and some people want to know where you buy your vegetables, and I can't really be doing with that. It's completely mad, but that's obviously how they sell films I guess. Who can determine the bizarre workings of selling a film." - Dylan Moran

"All male arguments are very early '70s, Soviet-made, uni-directional trundling behemoths that say the same thing again and again and again: "I told you I would be late on Tuesday, I told you I would be late, I said it, I heard my own voice, I did say it... I told yoouuuu." Whereas women seem to have these amazing, slinky stealth bombers designed by Jaguar! With a lovely cream leather interior and infinite torque! That's why they can respond by saying "Yes, maybe, alright, but why is the fridge door open?" "I don't understand, I don't understand..."" - Dylan Moran

"This is our smeg fridge, the whole house is smeg, we're made of smeg, aren't we, Roy?" - Dylan Moran

"I am by no means a natural impersonator, You just have to go pell-mell at it. And it has to work. If you do an accent badly, it is the most distracting thing in the world. It is as if somebody was walking around with their genitals out all the time. Well, it is not at all like somebody walking around with their genitals out. But it is distracting." - Dylan Moran

(From Black Books, co-written by Graham Linehan) Manny: Let's paaaar... Bernard: [points his finger threateningly at Manny] DON'T YOU DARE USE THE WORD 'PARTY' AS A VERB IN THIS SHOP!! Manny: Let's... poooootter along... in order to attend the party! [Bernard lowers his finger] - Dylan Moran

Need more? Try our Top 100 Dylan Moran Quotes and Top 50 Dylan Moran Quotes and Top 30 Dylan Moran Quotes and Top 20 Dylan Moran Quotes and Top 10 Dylan Moran Quotes and Top 5 Dylan Moran Quotes.

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