Dylan Moran Quote Generator

1.  "People will kill you. Over time. They will shave out every last morsel of fun in you with little, harmless sounding phrases that people uses every day, like: "Be realistic!"." - Dylan Moran

2.  "It's true that I have spoken about doing a book before, but then everyone you speak to is planning to write a book." - Dylan Moran

3.  "I think a lot of the time you just parody yourself." - Dylan Moran

4.  "I'm writing jokes at the moment about how a lot of your life, the greatest times of your life, most of them come down to putting things in your mouth. Whatever those things were, be it drinks or cigarettes or food or body parts of people you admired. An awful lot of it involves putting stuff in our mouths. In a lot of ways I feel like I'm just an address for my mouth. I don't know what the biggest thing is I've put in mine - there's still time, I don't want to say yet. There's a few more decades." - Dylan Moran

5.  (From Black Books, co-written by Graham Linehan) "If you're going to give a guy pencils for drinking his wine, you're talking about, you know, magic pencils. You draw a cow, the cow comes to life - those kind of pencils!" - Dylan Moran

6.  ""I got my pecs, I got limos, I got bitches, and all my limo's powered by bitch juice, and my spare pecs are in the limo." ... "I'm gonna fuck you up. I'm gonna dig up your dad, and shove him up your mum and drink your blood from a drinking cup, you fuck!"" (Describing rap music) - Dylan Moran

7.  ON COMEDY AND PERRIER: "I don't really see myself as having a career, I was completely surprised to win the Perrier - I thought then that they should have given it to Bill Bailey - but anyway, it's a piece of media rubbish." - Dylan Moran

8.  "That's why adults are confused a lot of the time. Adults are terribly confused, messed up people. That's because they forget, really, that they don't have to pretend all the time. Really, the fact is that you're not an adult at all - you're just a tall child holding a beer, having conversations you don't understand... "The Middle East? Yeah, I know it was really bad. I wouldn't have done that. A hysterectomy? Yeah, very painful, the shoulder is a very painful area."" - Dylan Moran

9.  (From Black Books, co-written by Graham Linehan) "Bernard you cant live off the mushrooms in your hair forever!" "I can and will!" - Dylan Moran

10.  - Get into the bath. - NO! - Get out of the bath. - NO! - Do something that's not mindless violence for 5 seconds, will you? - mmmmNO! (On children) - Dylan Moran