Mall Ninja Bullshit Generator 

Mall Ninja Bullshit Generator

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Generate original mall ninja bullshit. Inspired by the famous Gecko45. The Mall Ninja Bullshit generator currently can create over 3,322,012,948 unique results. That is over One Billion unique and original Mall Ninja Bullshits. Even more if you use a translator or the AI content rewriter.




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Mall Ninja Bullshit Generator Overview

The Mall Ninja Generator generates an awesome bullshit mall ninja profile.

How to Generate a Mall Ninja Bullshit

Hit generate bro.

Mall Ninja Bullshit API

Do you want to have Mall Ninja Bullshit random content on your website, blog or app with our API? Check out the Mall Ninja Bullshit API

Top 10 Mall Ninja Bullshits

This is a list of the top 10 Mall Ninja Bullshits for 2021.


1. I am the Sergeant of a three-man Rapid Tactical Force at one of America’s largest indoor retail shopping areas. I am here to protect 13-year-old boys like yourself, so you don’t get gang-raped behind the dumpster outside the mall arcade, on your way home to mommy after killing some bad guys at the “Silent Scope” game. Who do you think protects you from the scum of this society??? The cops, the FBI, the army??? Guess again, it’s the guys guarding your companies, your banks, your schools, your homes, your supermarkets, and yes even your malls.

2.  my AR-15 has quad rails, a flashlight/ laser combination, a dummy grenade launcher, a bayonet, a telescoping stock, and an ACOG scope! We have armored GMC Yukons and Suburbans for executive protection. We have several Hummers with MG mounts for our two HK21Es, and two VERY special armored vehicles for more serious work.

3.  Im not a Green Beret but guess what neither are you and unlike you I have to face unruly shoppers every day.

4.  Gun Control is not about guns; it's about control.


5. I am the Sergeant of a three-man Rapid Tactical Force at one of America’s largest indoor retail shopping areas. I am here to protect 13-year-old boys like yourself, so you don’t get gang-raped behind the dumpster outside the mall arcade, on your way home to mommy after killing some bad guys at the “Silent Scope” game. Gone are the days of gangbangers armed with chrome Lorcin .25s and tec 9s. A lot of these kids are sporting Glocks in 10mm and .357, some USPs, Sigs, and an occasional Desert Eagle in .50AE.

6.  My 30/06 Remington 700 with a custom walnut stock and a Leupold scope can destroy a deer at 500 yards with factory ammo! Low profile is key to our survival and the survival of our clients.

7.  We’re cops, we just don’t get the glory.

8.  Better to have one and not need it, than to need one and not have it.


9. I am the Sergeant of a three-man Rapid Tactical Force at one of America’s largest indoor retail shopping areas. I have personally saved the ass-virginity of several young boys in my days. But there are many brave men like myself out there who risk their lives daily so that boys like yourself can live a normal heterosexual life. We are on-site, when the cops are cruising around handing out speeding tickets or harassing prostitutes.

10. My team uses Colt R0933s. That’s a .223 select-fire M4 commando with a 11.5" My orders go far and my reasons for protecting this mall remain a matter of national security,

If you put on your ninja boots, body armor, tatical briefcase/helmet, strap on every gun you own, take a deep breath, you are still way too unprepared to be a mall cop!

Those who trade Liberty for security have neither.


I am the Lieutenant of a 3 man Rapid Tactical Force Team, in one of the nation’s largest indoor retail shopping centers. My job is to defend and protect the lives of the many shoppers who currently visit this center, My ass is the one the line so your fat butt can go to the mall and pick up the latest copy of “Computer Gaming Monthly” without getting jumped and sodomized in the mall bathroom.

My team uses Colt R0933s. That’s a .223 select-fire M4 commando with a 11.5" We use secure communications devices, and no you cannot get them at Radio Shack. Military frequencies are scrambled using a 256-bit encryption algorithm, and it is well-nigh uncrackable in any reasonable quantity of time.

We are here to protect 13 year old boys like yourself, so you don’t get gang raped behind the dumpster outside the mall arcade, on your way home to mommy after killing some bad guys at the “Silent Scope” game.

An armed man is a Citizen. An unarmed man is a subject.


I am the Lieutenant of a 3 man Rapid Tactical Force Team, in one of the nation’s largest indoor retail shopping centers. My job starts and ends at the same time every day. Although I use four rotating routes to drive to and from work, I am still vulnerable during the walk to and from my car. I also check the car for bombs before I enter it every night and rotate vehicles every day. Who do you think protects you from the scum of this society??? The cops, the FBI, the army??? Guess again, it’s the guys guarding your companies, your banks, your schools, your homes, your supermarkets, and yes even your malls.

I have a complete arsenal of weapons: Revolvers, Glocks, MP5's, sniper rifles, shotguns, automatic rifles, etc. I have better demolitions knowledge than a Navy SEAL demolitions expert.

We are undervalued for our beneficial effect on society at large, for the urban and suburban shopping centers see 80% of the armed violence in this nation, and why don’t the cops take care of it, because they are a bunch of wusses, and they are not man enough to put up with the danger and stress.

A gun and a parachute are somewhat alike - if you need one and don't have one,youll never need one again.


I am the Sergeant of a three-man Rapid Tactical Force at one of America’s largest indoor retail shopping areas. I am currently receiving escalator assault training. I have enemies because of my job. They may have access to high-powered rifles.

My weapons skills are the envy of the squad. To keep very low profile, I wouldn’t show up on TV even if I did make a major bust for the AMW show. This protects my identity and that of my family. It also allows me to do covert ops without blowing my cover. You know, corp. espionage works both ways.

Im not a Green Beret but guess what neither are you and unlike you I have to face unruly shoppers every day.

When possible, pack a sword


I am the Sergeant of a three-man Rapid Tactical Force at one of America’s largest indoor retail shopping areas. I am here to protect 13-year-old boys like yourself, so you don’t get gang-raped behind the dumpster outside the mall arcade, on your way home to mommy after killing some bad guys at the “Silent Scope” game. We only patrol the roof, maintenance areas, and parking lots with rifles, MP5’s for if TSHTF indoors, and Glock 30’s on our belts.

We “RTFers”, by plot with the local police, carry high-strength OC spray and batons. If we have a full tactical alert and permission from the local LEOs we also have a Mossberg 500 with less-lethal rounds and two K-frame Smith .38s loaded with 158gr. LRN. Basically, the situation is that we get the call, we lock up the situation, put everything five by five, and cordon the area until the local authorities arrive. We use modified electric vehicles and can be anywhere on a given floor within eight and a half minutes. Naturally, the habitual security people are unarmed.

We’re cops, we just don’t get the glory.

Want to take my gun, ...... certain let me unload it first.


I am the Sergeant of a three-man Rapid Tactical Force at one of America’s largest indoor retail shopping areas. I am currently receiving escalator assault training. We meet at the range every night and shoot 400 rounds each through weapons that closely resemble our duty setup.

My 30/06 Remington 700 with a custom walnut stock and a Leupold scope can kill a deer at 500 yards with factory ammo! I have better demolitions knowledge than a Navy SEAL demolitions expert.

Im not a Green Beret but guess what neither are you and unlike you I have to face unruly shoppers every day.

What do I feel after shooting someone? - recoil.


I am the Lieutenant of a 3 man Rapid Tactical Force Team, in one of the nation’s largest indoor retail shopping centers. I am here to protect 13-year-old boys like yourself, so you don’t get gang-raped behind the dumpster outside the mall arcade, on your way home to mommy after killing some bad guys at the “Silent Scope” game. We only patrol the roof, maintenance areas, and parking lots with rifles, MP5’s for if TSHTF indoors, and Glock 30’s on our belts.

my AR-15 has quad rails, a flashlight/ laser combination, a dummy grenade launcher, a bayonet, a telescoping stock, and an ACOG scope! We use secure communications devices, and no you cannot get them at Radio Shack. Military frequencies are scrambled using a 256-bit encryption algorithm, and it is well-nigh uncrackable in any reasonable amount of time.

This is not a fantasy, it is myjob, and if it is too harsh of a reality for you armchair commandos, then get another beer because this is the real wolrd of CQB.

SMILE, WAIT FOR FLASH


I am the Lieutenant of a 3 man Rapid Tactical Force Team, in one of the nation’s largest indoor retail shopping centers. I have personally saved the ass-virginity of several young boys in my days. But there are many brave men like myself out there who risk their lives daily so that boys like yourself can live a normal heterosexual life. We meet at the range every night and shoot 400 rounds each through weapons that closely resemble our duty setup.

I have a complete arsenal of weapons: Revolvers, Glocks, MP5's, sniper rifles, shotguns, automatic rifles, etc. I own 10 samurai swords, 4 pairs of nunchucks, a bowstaff, and a chest of throwing stars.

We are undervalued for our beneficial effect on society at large, for the urban and suburban shopping centers see 80% of the armed violence in this nation, and why don’t the cops take care of it, because they are a bunch of wusses, and they are not man enough to put up with the danger and stress.

No one wins with a headbutt.


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